tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53738339789497425952024-03-18T22:59:52.617-04:00Bushido RoadThe imperfect journey of a 40-something female USA Goju karateka forging a path and barking my shins on the proverbial furniture while studying "the way." Hear me roar...Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.comBlogger176125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-1384001308806228792023-09-21T17:28:00.002-04:002023-09-21T17:34:27.479-04:00Karate: What to Expect<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc9-4ByTXvk8A3mn7Lj13aaQ_-GvDY7xDi2SLd4_Do-PfXtJNZRMpS2TEQBGMjV9tXzeAmCj42RrO_UVZ7kwyR2Jq9U__J6feU3R6EAANDxEdyeyh3ahvrFdmCuan3bzmAjoW61UobRy25uJMTUrFU0f5zTKgVKwC4MnSdQnhuuMU0HGEEdWCYazAfRO0/s3600/FLAG!.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3600" data-original-width="3330" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc9-4ByTXvk8A3mn7Lj13aaQ_-GvDY7xDi2SLd4_Do-PfXtJNZRMpS2TEQBGMjV9tXzeAmCj42RrO_UVZ7kwyR2Jq9U__J6feU3R6EAANDxEdyeyh3ahvrFdmCuan3bzmAjoW61UobRy25uJMTUrFU0f5zTKgVKwC4MnSdQnhuuMU0HGEEdWCYazAfRO0/s320/FLAG!.jpg" width="296" /></a></div><br />Just like I do in my profession, I rarely turn down a chance to let others know about the art that is karate. My way to do that journalistically is to teach. In karate, if there is an opportunity to do the same, I'm there.<p></p><p>Now that summer is ending and school is starting again, after-school programs are up and running. A new one has opened in the school district and, curious to see if they had an interest in adding a karate program, I called. We set up a meeting for next week to discuss it further, the program director asked if there was any literature about karate that I could send her in the interim.</p><p>It's been a few years since the program Training Partner Ed and I started at the church was up and running, and our website isn't operational anymore. That made me think about what I could send to the program director about karate program basics. I've written a lot in this space about the issues I had finding a (new) place to train over the years, but I've also talked about what others should look for as well - particularly parents thinking about signing up their children - here, too. I ended up sending her <a href="http://bushidoroad.blogspot.com/2015/" target="_blank">this</a> entry as an intro, but as it is really a primer for parents who are already interested in getting their children into karate, I realized I wanted to give a bit more. I couldn't quite find what I wanted in any one place so I decided to write about what karate is - and isn't - myself. </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;">So, if you are interested in karate - whether that interest in the art is from a desire to work out on a regular, learn how to better defend yourself, work on your self-discipline, or be a part of a regular, group activity – it’s important to know a bit about it before you step barefoot onto the mat.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;">KARATE literally translates to “empty hand.” In most situations, the idea is self-defense, but it also teaches how to be aware of what's happening around you, how to avoid potential conflict when possible, and how to handle your business efficiently if necessary. Know that there will be physical conditioning (via drills and exercises for your cardiovascular system as well as for your forearms, legs, stomach and even hands/knuckles) to help prepare your body and mind for learning what to do and how to do it.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;">Based on eastern Asian principles and techniques, martial arts are steeped in tradition. Karate classes usually use Japanese words and terminology. Words used in a traditional dojo (training hall) - or one that simulates traditional training etiquette – will help you learn a bit of the language as well as the culture.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;">Respect – or “rei” – is expected and applies to everyone in the training hall. Of course instructors and senior students are expected to be received respectfully, but is also means that students should treat all dojo mates, visitors and spectators in the same regard, simply because it is the right thing to do. One way respect is shown for the art and its practitioners is by bowing to each other, which is really a sign of reverence for the art, the people with whom you are training, and all those who have trained before you. Understand that it is par for the course in the dojo.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;">Intensity while training is expected, but it is also understood that everyone on the mat is learning and, as a result, hurting folks you’re training with is a no-no. Accidents happen, but being mindful that folks could be injured can help keep those accidents to a minimum. What I tell the youngsters: Training partners are friends and hurting friends isn’t something we do. Be purposeful, but be careful, too.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;">Also understand that the martial path is all about the journey, not the destination - and a fast trip is often not the generally recommended road. Any school or program promising to make you a black belt in X number of years is one you should probably run from as quickly as possible. The things you learn are designed to take a long time to master, so delayed gratification is the name of the game. The hard work put in will certainly pay off, but that payoff isn't always immediately apparent. You will get there if you work at it and stick to it, thought.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;">To those who are training, have trained or are thinking about kicking off your shoes and falling in, enjoy your journey. Don’t be afraid to look around your path every now and again, as reflection is important and necessary.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; margin: 0in;">Hope that is helpful...</p>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-53205516670869801902022-07-22T14:00:00.008-04:002022-07-26T14:18:18.914-04:00Thank You, George...<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeoiNmMembYpaHQ_IbX36tTkpPmX-3cJLupnj3gWLHsytwAnVuIo7SmL4yoLGzDs8T72mf9DEyf-V8FZGzof5l3CGNevMVBUBYpkfHFEbDaq2mbwcJxORpXnYGQ7RYGIJ274ZAvLZC5bp2p4FwXZhFePVsMnrAK-xwOrM2iiJLriLY77JSJovEE_uh/s1503/George%20at%20Penn%20Relays.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1503" data-original-width="918" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeoiNmMembYpaHQ_IbX36tTkpPmX-3cJLupnj3gWLHsytwAnVuIo7SmL4yoLGzDs8T72mf9DEyf-V8FZGzof5l3CGNevMVBUBYpkfHFEbDaq2mbwcJxORpXnYGQ7RYGIJ274ZAvLZC5bp2p4FwXZhFePVsMnrAK-xwOrM2iiJLriLY77JSJovEE_uh/s320/George%20at%20Penn%20Relays.jpg" width="195" /></a></div>Before karate for me, there was track and field. I tried out for my school track team in ninth grade, a few months after watching my uncle run the NYC Marathon. The sense of determination and purpose in the runners' faces as they plodded through the streets of Manhattan was mesmerizing. It filled me with an excitement I hadn't really ever felt before. Hence my decision to give track and field a try my freshman year.<p></p><p>Not at all a natural athlete, I was pretty awful in the beginning. Someone suggested the high jump the day the field events were introduced since the mats were in the boys gym. My very first try ever, I sent the metal bar flying to the floor, clanging so loudly that it echoed through the entire room. Everyone in the gym turned around to see who had caused the disturbance, which was embarrassing as hell. I swore I'd never, ever try the event again.</p><p>But I did. I got better and eventually qualified for my first state meet the next year - and bombed miserably there. I grew to love the sport because it challenged me to put my best into it each and every time. </p><p>The summer before my junior year, my mom and some of the other track parents somehow found the Empire Track and Field Camp for Girls (this was the early 1980s and way before Google). For an entire week near Lake Champlain, NY, four of my teammates and I learned about our individual event specifics, nutrition, lifting weights and more. It was also where I met George Horne, a collegiate All-American high jumper who was a coach at Temple University in Philadelphia. Knowledgeable about the event to a fault, he was extremely witty and personable, too. He gave us the notes he'd taken on all of the high jumpers that outlined the things we did well and the things we needed to work on. He helped me understand the event better by encouraging me to train smarter and with specificity. He also suggested I run cross country to get stronger.</p><p>And I did. I did well with it and did get stronger to boot. My junior track year went so well that when we met again the next summer, he let me know that Temple U. was watching my performances on the track with interest. I went into my senior year with a plan to narrow in on what I wanted to major in, learn more about the school and apply there. When the decision letter arrived just before Thanksgiving, I was too scared to open it. I had applied to other schools and gotten into them, but this was really where I wanted to go. My mom sat with me as I opened it. We saw the "Congratulations!" at the same time but the full athletic grant-in-aid details came a little later.</p><p>Academically and athletically, things went extremely well at Temple. I fell in love with photojournalism and magazine writing/editing and eventually, made a career using both disciplines. I also became a six-time NCAA Division I All-America athlete, moving to #10 in the US at one point and qualifying for an Olympic Trials (I finished sixth). None of that would have been possible without George. He literally became a guiding force in helping me move safely through that space between adolescence and adulthood and a pivotal part of the village that helped raise me. </p><p>Last July, I went to a screening for "Sisters on Track," a movie about three runners and their growth in the sport and life. During the post-movie chat with the filmmakers, we were given the following assignment: Recognize someone who has had an impact on/made a difference in your life. It took me two seconds to figure out that my homage belonged to George and the chance meeting with him that most certainly changed my trajectory. He made me appreciate the value of fine-tuning details and the necessity of hard work to get where you want to be. We did regularly chat via phone/text, but I took the picture above about a decade ago when we met at Penn Relays. Last year, when he was dealing with some health challenges, I posted the photo and the "recognize the impactful people" tribute online but, being mindful of how important it is to give folks their flowers while they are here to enjoy them, I shared it with him, too. I'm sure he understood what he meant to me before, but I'm really, really glad I got a chance to tell him.</p><p>This past February, my track sister/former Temple U teammate and I went to see him. He and his wife had moved to Myrtle Beach from their home in New Jersey and we just wanted to see how he was really doing. His chemo regiment had made his feet and hands blister, which made walking difficult, as well as playing golf - one of his most favorite pastimes. The gleam in his eye and his incredible sense of humor were still there, but it was plain to see that some things were more difficult for him to do than they use to be. While sitting in the dining room munching on the pastries we'd brought over, he told us about the new table they'd ordered and how he hoped to be here still when it arrived - a reminder to us that not only was time short, but he knew it was and maybe wanted us to know, too.</p><p>He passed on July 16 - almost a year to the day of the movie screening assignment. When I tell you it hit me like a sledgehammer, I'm not exaggerating a bit. My track sister said it felt like losing a parent and I agree. I've been so out of sorts for almost a week now, too, like I don't quite know what to do with the fact that he's just not here.</p><p>I'm far from the only athlete whose life George heavily influenced. There is a literal sea of women whom he helped parent. He coached for over 30 years, "raising" more high school state champions and both high school and collegiate All-America athletes than you can shake a stick at. He was the proverbial "You can do this!" guy who taught us all how to believe in ourselves both on and off the track. For each of us, he was there exactly when we needed him. Many, many of us coach now as a result. His legacy will live on in more ways than one.</p><p>So many similarities between track and karate. Both paths can veer off on tangents and even be a bit weedy at times - but the mind/body connection are definitely kindred spirits. I know without a doubt that without my track journey, I wouldn't have had the courage or focus to begin my karate one. </p><p>For me, there are always living signs left behind when someone close to me passes away. When I lost my mom, a beautiful, red cardinal accompanied us out of the cemetery the day of her funeral. For my dad, it's always been roses - as he sent me a dozen the day I landed my first staff magazine editing gig. Still feeling off-kilter at yesterday's summer team practice, butterflies kept fluttering by. There were at least a half a dozen within minutes of stepping onto the track. Knowing I wanted to finally sit down and write this today, I saw another flutter by while walking the dog. </p><p>I hear you, George - and thank you. For everything.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-76611607425033443212021-07-07T18:35:00.005-04:002022-07-19T14:54:23.836-04:00Throat Punch Dreams<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV7PZqwq67MNml6LlUN-QGS30XAfGT_2lV4yc28-r1oLta8hYEVnHRSW3-EucD_p0JtwAz3ClhCCAacC3SypYfWhi05cXSzavVcd42ZV4qkL8PDbvvPlLSlZW3dFayB_BNemhJQJ92M89JcA38g-sCLm_gx0rq5nFIPKqY00r4Xa6adjIpW8oC6gVA/s900/Throat%20Punch.jpeg" style="clear: right; display: block; float: right; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV7PZqwq67MNml6LlUN-QGS30XAfGT_2lV4yc28-r1oLta8hYEVnHRSW3-EucD_p0JtwAz3ClhCCAacC3SypYfWhi05cXSzavVcd42ZV4qkL8PDbvvPlLSlZW3dFayB_BNemhJQJ92M89JcA38g-sCLm_gx0rq5nFIPKqY00r4Xa6adjIpW8oC6gVA/s320/Throat%20Punch.jpeg" /></a></div>Every now and again, images of defense-of-self flash through my mind. Usually, they are escape scenarios punctuated by me gaining the upper hand and subduing a faceless person out to do someone harm (and usually, that someone is me or a loved-one). Normal stuff for folks who study or teach martial arts or self-defense, I suppose.<span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;"> </span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria, serif; margin: 0in;">Lately, though, assailants in my day dreams aren’t so faceless. And they aren’t happening after random, surprise attacks from a bad person springing from the bushes. Lately, every attacker has identifiable features and each one looks a lot like folks I come in contact with on a regular, or at least know on some level. They are folks that are causing a lot of havoc and chaos in my world.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria, serif; margin: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria, serif; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria, serif; margin: 0in;">It’s truly funny how the mind works – because each scenario ends the same way: with my left hand wrapped firmly around their throat and my right hand cocked back, aimed at their nose or left eye. I never hit, but that the intent to neutralize them and stop their attack is on full-throttle.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria, serif; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria, serif; margin: 0in;">Physical harm is not actually being done to me and mine, really - but my head is looking for ways to stop the crazy before it gets out of control, it seems. I am far from a violent person (save for class or the competition ring, the only fight I’ve ever had was in second grade and the only physical altercation as an adult occurred about 10 years ago [read about it <a href="http://bushidoroad.blogspot.com/2011/03/moment-of-truth.html" target="_blank">here</a>). My weapons outside of the ring have been words. As a writer, I’ve had ample opportunity to give a verbal beat-down or two (hundred). As a journalist, I’ve found the facts to let people draw their own conclusions about corruption, murder-suicides, and other wrongdoing. Words have always served me well. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria, serif; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria, serif; margin: 0in;">I think my fear is that although I know wrong is being done, there will never been an opportunity to voice the "You know, what you're doing is offed up, right?" to the offender and be heard. That’s why my mind is working through on-the-mat scenarios, trying to find some semblance of order in a “put up your dukes” way.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria, serif; margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria, serif; margin: 0in;">My actual physical default is not to raise my hands, but my dream self has other plans, it seems.</p>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-17422858886960412662021-01-05T08:01:00.006-05:002021-01-05T08:27:29.178-05:00In Defense of Those Who Can't Defend Themselves<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcOkP5RIlQzF57ZhUTdWZz-EgxhgkS_nh3M2Q2hjVLnHAlhZeVjrB3Evzs456M4s_NEHk7BpEqzzVdECHT-5pq6f6obNs9SNAkPy5F7Sq142dfwlZiS58dNQrlYu0ryc4Zycsm__i3d00/s1880/Holding+Hands.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1253" data-original-width="1880" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcOkP5RIlQzF57ZhUTdWZz-EgxhgkS_nh3M2Q2hjVLnHAlhZeVjrB3Evzs456M4s_NEHk7BpEqzzVdECHT-5pq6f6obNs9SNAkPy5F7Sq142dfwlZiS58dNQrlYu0ryc4Zycsm__i3d00/w200-h133/Holding+Hands.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><p>In martial arts circles, we spend lots of time training to understand threats to our person. We work hard to prevent as much crazy as we can by being aware of our surroundings, avoiding situations that might lead to trouble and neutralizing confrontations via verbal or physical de-escalation to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. We assume that the potential for violent confrontation will come from outside the home, but statistics constantly tell us that most attacks will come from someone we know - and maybe even someone we live with or near.</p><p>That is truest for children. But unlike adults, the choice to get to higher ground is not one they can ever really make.</p><p>According to the National Children's Alliance, almost 700,000 humans under the age of 18 are abused in the U.S each year. In 2018, there were about 678,000 unique incidents of abuse and neglect nationally, which represents about one percent of the population of American children across all social-economic and ethnic barriers. It's all an estimate that many consider low, in that these numbers rely on actual reported cases - and if rape statistics are any guideline, we know that not all cases are actually reported. (Read more stats from the organization <a href="https://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org/media-room/national-statistics-on-child-abuse/" target="_blank">here</a>.) </p><p>During my time as a case worker, most of the children and families I worked with struggled with issues most of us can't even imagine. Whether the parents MEANT to cause their children harm was never the issue, understand - as our goal was to make it stop. Sometimes that meant removing the children from the home. Sadly, there was never a straight path to that outcome at all - and it sometimes took many months to untangle it all. Bureaucratic red tape really is a thing, believe me. What that often looks like is "we need to exhaust all other options first" which of course kept the tape - and the crazy at home - flowing.</p><p>The assumption seems to be that a child is better off with his or her family, so placement of a child outside of his/her home is considered a last resort. But some guardians simply have substance-abuse/misuse, emotional/medical issues and/or a myriad of other personal or societal situations that make the home they head and the space they provide for a child an absolute minefield. How that can ever be considered "better" is truly beyond me.</p><p>Yes, leaving everything a child has ever known can be traumatic as hell - but imagine the trauma living with neglect or physical, sexual or emotional abuse can cause. We too often rationalize the signs in front of our faces and automatically default to the "he/she is better off with them than without them" setting on our moral compasses. We try too hard to save the family (read: the parents) from the trauma of dealing with child protection services because, you know, it could ruin their careers (insert eye-roll here).</p><p>And while we are doing all that to protect the reputations of the abusers, no one is protecting the children affected.</p><p>Abuse and neglect are never "It's simply not my business" situations. Ever. Think about it this way: Although an infant can't tell you what they're experiencing, a toddler, grade-schooler or teen many times won't or can't. The reasons why are varied and complicated - which makes it all the more important that we step up and get someone to ask the right questions, or ask them ourselves.</p><p>Afraid Uncle Ray-Ray might lose his job if you call the abuse hotline? The pastor's family might be disgraced if the state gets involved? The neighbors might lose their home? Why is any of that more important than the damage being done to the children under their roof?</p><p>While we should be treating such situations like an abandoned backpack in the airport, we get a little squeamish instead. We hesitate and hope, I guess, that someone else will handle it. That simply shouldn't be.</p><p>Like that unattended backpack, if you see something, say something. Let the investigators determine if there are problems that can only be addressed if the children are no longer living with their abusers. But that can't ever start if those investigators aren't aware of what might be going on - and awareness, as martial artists know, is the very first step of self-defense.</p><p>If you see something - or even if you <i>think</i> you do - call or text the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1.800.4.A.Child (1.800.422.4453). </p><p>An abusers best friend is silence. We all owe it to children not to be quiet anymore.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-25034043825466015582019-03-13T07:50:00.002-04:002021-01-05T04:42:47.839-05:00That's Not Suppose to Happen!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One of the advantages to living in a small town is you almost always run into someone you know wherever you go. Since most of us have to eat and pay bills, I run into folks I haven't seen in a minute the most in the grocery store and post office.<br />
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But last week in the gym, I ran into a woman that I use to train with at my first dojo. After we hugged and caught up a bit on what was happening with family and life, Ms. H. mentioned that she stopped training a while ago due to her work schedule. But now that she is retired and leaning toward coming back to the dojo, she's not sure she wants to train where we both use to.<br />
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She started training because she was experiencing some violence at home. Her hubby, she said, occasionally got physical with her and she wanted to be able to defend herself. She stepped into the dojo looking for some tools and strategies she could use to help her avoid the fray and de-escalate when necessary.<br />
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Then she told me about her very first day in class.<br />
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The second-highest ranking student in the dojo was a woman who was a fourth-kyu. When I first stepped onto the mat, she out-ranked me and would often turn up the aggression dial when we sparred. I remember my then-sensei telling us all that class/tournament sparring was really a game of tag. The point, he said, was to get in and get out as quickly and efficiently as possible with light touches being par for the course. I noticed the fourth-kyu wasn't doing that, but was never reminded that she should.<br />
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The day she and Ms. H. met in class, Sensei had them doing a partner line-sparing drill that was supposed to be light with minimal contact as they were not wearing gear. But when Ms. H. lined up with her fourth-kyu partner, she was rushed, held and swept to the ground where she hit her head hard and almost passed out.<br />
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After class, with a headache and a need to understand what had happened during the drill, Ms. H. asked Sensei if the sparring session was supposed to leave her dazed and holding an ice pack to her skull. He told her she would eventually learn to defend herself better so she could fight back and give as good as she got.<br />
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Yes, that was the explanation he left a brand-new student with an injured head with. And I wish I could say I was surprised at what he told her, but I'm not.<br />
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Whether or not he knew or understood her reason for stepping onto the mat is irrelevant. No new student should suffer an injury while training with an advanced student unless it was a fluke accident - as in "I turned around to wave to someone at the door and my hand hit a student who was just walking by" or "There was an earthquake and I pushed the student out of way of falling debris which caused her to bump her head." Seriously - there aren't many other circumstances at all that would justify a student who just walked into the dojo leaving hurt. Injuries like that in a learning environment simply should not happen.<br />
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Sensei M. use to remind us all the time that injuring the friends/ukes we trained with was not something that he tolerated. "Nobody gets hurt in my dojo, understand?" he'd say at the end of every warmup/before we began whatever we were going to be working on that class. Sure, there were boo-boos, but we all came to realize that although accidents happen, they should always be a class exception and not a rule.<br />
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I now tell my students the same. For my younger karateka, I remind them that it's not fun to hurt friends. For my older students, I simply acknowledge that our dojo is a place for all of us to learn, which we do as ukes and as nages. Controlling the mind so the body can follow is priority.<br />
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I give Ms. H. a lot of credit for even stepping foot in that dojo again. It took lots of courage to return and risk injury happening a second time. But she did and trained there for a few years more, eventually earning the rank of sixth-kyu before her work schedule shifted and Saturday morning classes were no longer an option.<br />
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Of course I invited her to my class. Things at home are better, she said, but she wouldn't mind coming back to the dojo. I'm kind of excited about the idea of seeing her in a few weeks.<br />
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And if she does happen by, I'll be sure to do what our first sensei didn't: Let her know that nobody really should get hurt in the dojo.<br />
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-10472391290445893462017-04-03T23:22:00.001-04:002017-04-04T13:35:15.410-04:00Listen, hear...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This has nothing much to do with martial arts, but I'm putting it in this space anyway. Bare with me, please.<br />
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Last summer, my Beloved and I were on our way to grab a bite at our local mall. At the entrance of the mall is a stoplight. As it was red and there was another car in front of us, I'm pretty sure he came to a complete stop before turning right onto the mall ramp entrance. Unfortunately, the police officer who pulled us over didn't think so.<br />
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Since this wasn't long after Sandra Bland's mysterious in-custody death, the journalist in me sat up and began to look for any strangeness in the interaction. But since it was also the first time I'd been in the car when my Beloved was pulled over, most of my attention was drawn to him - how he sat (nice and straight), where he kept his hands (in plain view on the steering wheel) and how he handed not only his license and registration over when asked but also his gun permit and military ID. He also calmly told the officer he had the gun he was licensed to carry in the vehicle.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHBYuGLU9n_TNwvGLjZjJSrcc7_ZITEhK7pqG_rz_sxgHhIY09MW3MLpmENmPZ5SEJEaMuOaEoSh1jTO_S5PhyphenhyphenqfxxJTCbOpZpmygLQ1kwbkU3X1LgiDTZWNAtIhpkcUHlxxOuSs5idQE/s1600/police+car.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHBYuGLU9n_TNwvGLjZjJSrcc7_ZITEhK7pqG_rz_sxgHhIY09MW3MLpmENmPZ5SEJEaMuOaEoSh1jTO_S5PhyphenhyphenqfxxJTCbOpZpmygLQ1kwbkU3X1LgiDTZWNAtIhpkcUHlxxOuSs5idQE/s320/police+car.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
When the officer finally let us be on our way with a warning to come to a complete stop next time, we sat there for a few minutes while he put everything back into his wallet and glove box. Still not quite over how calm he'd been during the stop, I asked him how he'd managed to remain so non-vexed.<br />
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"Do you know how many times I've given that exact speech this month?" he asked. I had actually had no idea the tall, dark-skinned fella with the loud, deep voice (that, in 18 years, I only ever heard him raise at track meets when he's screaming out encouragement to the athletes he coaches) got pulled over so often.<br />
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About two weeks ago, it happened to him again. He was leaving school during his prep period to run to the bank and got pulled over for not slowing down enough in a construction zone. He said the officer who pulled him over knew him ("Hey coach - is that you?" the officer said when he saddled up to his window) and let him off with a warning.<br />
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"But what if I had gotten a little loud or my license wasn't straight? It might have turned out very differently," he said.<br />
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He's probably right.<br />
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Tonight, a friend I work with called me about an hour after a phone conference we were supposed to have. He said he was unable to make it because his wife's car had broken down and while they waited in front of her office for the tow truck to arrive, the police tapped on their car window, asking for license and registration - responding to a report of "suspicious activity." While they were explaining their wait for their tow, the CEO of his wife's company came out of the building, got a ride across the parking lot to her vehicle and left, never even acknowledging them or the police. As the thought drifted through their minds that maybe she had been the person who made the "suspicious activity" report, the tow truck driver pulled up.<br />
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I wondered what might have happened if neither he or his wife remembered their wallets, if the tow truck driver had gotten lost or their "What's the problem, officer?" came out a bit harsher than intended. Not gonna lie - it made me a little nervous.<br />
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Well over 20 years ago, my then 30-something brother was enjoying a movie in a suburban Philadelphia theater. He called me fuming because he'd just been forcibly removed from the theater when one of the attendants said he "fit the description" of some person who'd apparently done something wrong. It was so long ago that the particulars are fuzzy, but I remember that he came over right away and asked for help drafting a letter to the police department that had handled the whole thing so terribly.<br />
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Each of these situations made/make me feel so powerless, but since none of them happened directly to me, I can only imagine what the heck my Beloved, my friend and his wife and my brother went through as it was happening to them.<br />
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Sure, police have tough gigs - I get that - but there is something so humiliating about the being accused of things you know you didn't do simply because you look a certain way or happen to be where you aren't expected to be. No law-abiding citizen should ever be put in the position of hoping the police believe their story when that "story" is the God's honest, plain, boring truth.<br />
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Driving to get take-out, waiting for a tow truck or watching a movie shouldn't really ever be humiliating experiences.<br />
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And remaining calm or simply complying with all requests slowly and deliberately should keep everyone out of harm's way, but they don't always. The tone of your voice shouldn't determine if you make it home or not, I don't think. But unfortunately, sometimes, it does.<br />
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After their respective incidents, my Beloved, my friend and his wife and my brother all wrote letters as a way to try and recap what happened or as a way to let somebody know that what was experienced wasn't kosher. I'm writing this now for the same reasons - but also because I'm upset and don't really have any other recourse. I'm not looking for excuses or tales about that one time you or someone you know were treated similarly and it wasn't racial profiling because you aren't a person of color. So if your inclination is to "ya, but..." a response - just. don't.<br />
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Words aren't written just so you can disagree or explain them away. Sometimes they're there so the person writing them feels heard.<br />
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Listen and hear - then empathize and understand. It may not ever be your reality, but that doesn't mean it's any less real.<br />
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It really is just as simple as that.</div>
Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-53771578214160758172016-10-22T21:56:00.002-04:002017-04-04T13:37:25.451-04:00One of these is not like the other...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As my solo karate teaching has been going on for about a year (Training Partner Ed and his family moved south last October), I'm noticing things that I never really noticed before.<br />
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For instance, whether teaching or studying the martial arts, I don't really remember comparing two karate-ka before - as in a "they are the same rank but they are very different" kind of way.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHE6lPPNZ3GbwcXAjIYUuGqcQ2NxpxL2JRnge4StpH9MjQup3zOjwmDcDI_Jl9pzYz7Jun2ycP1yO2gshUa_mGgesnhNWDNZX62zGOU1k5Y38uxtIihx5B6Yzrm5ZKofDhwsZ_3CjNeTU/s1600/th_karate-4.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHE6lPPNZ3GbwcXAjIYUuGqcQ2NxpxL2JRnge4StpH9MjQup3zOjwmDcDI_Jl9pzYz7Jun2ycP1yO2gshUa_mGgesnhNWDNZX62zGOU1k5Y38uxtIihx5B6Yzrm5ZKofDhwsZ_3CjNeTU/s320/th_karate-4.gif" width="314" /></a></div>
The reason I'm having to do that now is because another grading is coming up. And for the first time in a long time, I have two students going for the same new rank.<br />
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One of them is 12-year-old. He was away from the dojo for almost a year, then came back like a person possessed. His kihon, kata and kumite have all improved 10-fold. He actually came back to the dojo a better karate-ka than when he left.<br />
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The other is 10, and was away from the dojo for the summer. His basics and kata have stagnated although his kumite has improved a bit. He missed a few weeks since school started due to an injury, but his focus is good and he genuinely seems like he wants to be there.<br />
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Interestingly enough, they are fine-tuning the same kata together - going over stances, hand positions and the like - in preparation for the upcoming grading. Again, they are the same rank and have been training for roughly the same amount of time, but in everything from how they tie their belts to how they shift stances and where they place their feet, it's kinda evident that the younger student has fallen a bit behind his dojo brother.<br />
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They both will grade and probably earn their next rank, but I can already see the separation. And I do anticipate it being an issue as they continue to train through mudansha. My big fear is that I will lose my younger student if he gets frustrated by feelings of not being "as good as" his dojo mate and winds up discouraged. As often as it is said, it's usually very difficult for the younger lot to understand the idea of the individual nature of the each person's martial path.<br />
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See, when there were two of us instructing and issues like this came up, we often switched up primary teaching duties. For instance, when Training partner Ed had difficulties teaching his son on occasion (as lots of parent instructors often do) I'd take over the lesson and work with his son for a bit. If two students didn't gel or frustration was developing, we usually staved it away by having Ed work with one student while I worked with the other. Saved everyone lots of frustration and kept the desire to learn high.<br />
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Now that it's just me and I don't have anyone to trade instruction duties with, I miss those days a lot.<br />
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What do other instructors do when they have two students who could and probably should be working at the same level but aren't? Any tips and techniques you'd like to share?<br />
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-87709495717852490812016-02-02T23:18:00.001-05:002016-02-03T00:02:20.071-05:00Back in the Goju Saddle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
After way too long a hiatus, we're finally back to regular karate classes. Hooray!<br />
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The break was long - too long, actually - mostly because it proved a bit more difficult than originally thought to secure a new location that was easy for students to get to and that wouldn't cost them or us an arm and a leg.<br />
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We found it - via a local church - but lots of stuff happened in the interim, including Training Partner Ed and his family moving to South Carolina in October.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm8jOh1nTT1eXSGbqdzKT4PxYjh9XdD9qqb9LscOn6oY-b42qt0q3e_L_ik1F48itCSGlxw0V0ZCt2B90NW52icNqpEqP6VfsmTbljul3wqRRkpoOnor6gQZFgQNdgtuu-9t2QiFv3wQM/s1600/IMG_7412.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm8jOh1nTT1eXSGbqdzKT4PxYjh9XdD9qqb9LscOn6oY-b42qt0q3e_L_ik1F48itCSGlxw0V0ZCt2B90NW52icNqpEqP6VfsmTbljul3wqRRkpoOnor6gQZFgQNdgtuu-9t2QiFv3wQM/s400/IMG_7412.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Training Partner Ed's "Farewell Workout"</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Posing with the U-Haul truck just before the family pulled out of their driveway for the last time.</td></tr>
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The move happened Columbus Day weekend. By the end of October, the new space had been approved and were able to get the new dojo up and running. It was only one day a week instead of three (as I am the only one teaching and have Squirrel's tuition to pay --> I must work), but it was a place to train again.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixpMNE9SwT8WXmg8Y9mt9dXnZqgoWrwHAlySXFXIRCKcfpMJOvBe1OXjjzx0FfNod0_xTL6Pb46fZeqnLV85J9DOjciDzXQeOMfaM6SYQdo4TWCbFgVnI2lvqLFCUErCGe5n3Hd7tqtg8/s1600/IMG_0309.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixpMNE9SwT8WXmg8Y9mt9dXnZqgoWrwHAlySXFXIRCKcfpMJOvBe1OXjjzx0FfNod0_xTL6Pb46fZeqnLV85J9DOjciDzXQeOMfaM6SYQdo4TWCbFgVnI2lvqLFCUErCGe5n3Hd7tqtg8/s200/IMG_0309.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5efSw8K_xSiBY1hhR3I6llNnhZPzlMeZ8TrzqvgrpvRbunpJEZ1qq315Rgfuqozy4vtZ06gFGPRKEWmlHRwuTyIV9i0S_WPhfoppB4OzrMlVNk_zKbq_NFJ_jFufffykYkRf_weYHQpA/s1600/IMG_0308.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5efSw8K_xSiBY1hhR3I6llNnhZPzlMeZ8TrzqvgrpvRbunpJEZ1qq315Rgfuqozy4vtZ06gFGPRKEWmlHRwuTyIV9i0S_WPhfoppB4OzrMlVNk_zKbq_NFJ_jFufffykYkRf_weYHQpA/s200/IMG_0308.jpg" width="200" /></a>Because of the church programs in place, Friday night has become our regular time to gi up and play. Some of my students have sports team practice or work commitments and are unable to make it, but we gained some new students and now start the class begins with a belt-tying tutorial before we fall in.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our youngest student, Allyanna, is 5</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kata with Jovanni and Tyrone</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggxvudFB7kuAcQybiXkJTPwndKYLSGd8eJG-rp7Y7x1nRu4btanpsPVnARsNwoEk4moauueLogaz8rgB_6vdEWB7lMTT1BpdqC6gNO_XEu-b0wSbAXDOwJTPKOHj2j-0AfqA7EzIaSOBs/s1600/IMG_9017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggxvudFB7kuAcQybiXkJTPwndKYLSGd8eJG-rp7Y7x1nRu4btanpsPVnARsNwoEk4moauueLogaz8rgB_6vdEWB7lMTT1BpdqC6gNO_XEu-b0wSbAXDOwJTPKOHj2j-0AfqA7EzIaSOBs/s200/IMG_9017.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nia - mid-kata</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Mf5V9RPaYNt36_2fSB6ZtW5WBEiYF05ZZW3aMoped8x0F-PrIFviOb6P6jleTZDiCPPk_Po3qRT5UJ2cOLC794YzmtUy8TZapA5ivhuqvknXN4rzM1zp6onsCxr7QmZtrEQ8iuNpiR4/s1600/IMG_8420.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Mf5V9RPaYNt36_2fSB6ZtW5WBEiYF05ZZW3aMoped8x0F-PrIFviOb6P6jleTZDiCPPk_Po3qRT5UJ2cOLC794YzmtUy8TZapA5ivhuqvknXN4rzM1zp6onsCxr7QmZtrEQ8iuNpiR4/s200/IMG_8420.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The first class in late October</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj3AfaorgDerVqX3868hc8GVD6XpWRfB7j7qfiubb3QK5oI6oXc-nmnBCRwt8oyQe-K1hgu6W8DYfnkGEcpDM48PkxHyt5Avpojmy9lNOBURxN0uq5hfDQYYhjjQWulplwSa1pQxE6msk/s1600/IMG_0332.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj3AfaorgDerVqX3868hc8GVD6XpWRfB7j7qfiubb3QK5oI6oXc-nmnBCRwt8oyQe-K1hgu6W8DYfnkGEcpDM48PkxHyt5Avpojmy9lNOBURxN0uq5hfDQYYhjjQWulplwSa1pQxE6msk/s200/IMG_0332.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nate's new belt (Yes, I stole it from his IG feed)</td></tr>
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As this past Christmas and New Year's Day both fell on Fridays, the dojo was closed for two weeks. When our bare feet hit the mat in January, I ran a few of my senior students through some kihon and kata. They didn't know it, but it was a grading. They did very well and we now have three new third kyus in the building, including a dad who first entered the dojo when he'd bring his son to class. After sitting and watching for about six months, he kicked off his shoes and joined in. His son stopped training, but he didn't. He's worked really hard over the last year, including solo training at a local gym with Ed and me every Friday morning through the dojo hiatus. </div>
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It's been a year of unexpected twists and turns, but we're still moving forward. Isn't that what the martial journey is all about?</div>
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-86477353456431860332015-08-18T17:36:00.002-04:002023-09-21T17:34:02.157-04:00Choosing Martial Arts for your Kids : A Primer for Parents<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj022gAF_6tSmjlc2qh9iqRNQzeOQcj-DV1asg9uphaPdl0cRQrZDewvPCC2-8IjfTr0rOXRFCjOUOsmC7KVLk5eG2LY47FDiTb2XPzzmscR0zvUe4-x7DL2EPxDG1lSB2UolavhrzKRCo/s1600/karate+belts.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj022gAF_6tSmjlc2qh9iqRNQzeOQcj-DV1asg9uphaPdl0cRQrZDewvPCC2-8IjfTr0rOXRFCjOUOsmC7KVLk5eG2LY47FDiTb2XPzzmscR0zvUe4-x7DL2EPxDG1lSB2UolavhrzKRCo/s320/karate+belts.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
As summer dwindles to a close, many parents are considering just what after-school and extra-curricular activities their school-aged children should participate in this school year. Physical activities - like karate and organized team sports - are often at the top of many "Let's get Johnny and Suzy involved in something" lists, which can be a very good thing, indeed. But because it's important to know what you are getting yourself and your young ones into, there are a few important things you really need to consider before you go out and buy a gi and sparring equipment including:<br />
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1. <u><b>Check out the school alone before you bring your child in for a look.</b></u> Just like any facility your child will be spending time in, make sure it is clean, safe and generally comfortable. Walk through the changing area/dressing rooms and actually use the bathrooms. Look around/listen to how instructors are speaking to the students and each other. Are the classes chaotic and unorganized or structured and informational? Are students encouraged to ask questions and participate by helping demonstrate techniques or expected to just do without explanation? Would you feel comfortable leaving your child there without you? If something feels off about the environment or the instruction, trust your gut. If you're fine with what you experience, stop in next time with your child.<br />
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2. <b><u>Not every 10-year old is/Not every five year old isn't ready for a structured, physically challenging activity.</u> </b>Since you know your child better than her/his instructor does, you're probably the best judge of whether or not Junior is capable of following instructions in a group setting, sitting still/waiting his turn effectively and functioning without your handholding for a 30- to 45-minute class. If you aren't sure about your grade-schooler or if the instructor needs convincing about your preschooler, ask if your child can take a trial class to see if s/he can make it through comfortably. Many schools offer a week of or at least a few classes for free to help you figure out if the class works for your child and your family's lifestyle. Don't buy any equipment or sign any long-term agreements until you're sure the school/program is a good fit.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijeGTIrGTsjf0pL_rGZ32BmA6xJl8mtYgu7OfcJDa1TfYsuuD_BKe8fpkk7evHHVKTdfJOm-Vou8xVFCx9Qer_u3YOCDUbBVxFi8cp3YxII9UF2_Y5EFTWDmPDKwiwYaSeykn9fPVFF5I/s1600/teaching+Kids+Karate.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijeGTIrGTsjf0pL_rGZ32BmA6xJl8mtYgu7OfcJDa1TfYsuuD_BKe8fpkk7evHHVKTdfJOm-Vou8xVFCx9Qer_u3YOCDUbBVxFi8cp3YxII9UF2_Y5EFTWDmPDKwiwYaSeykn9fPVFF5I/s1600/teaching+Kids+Karate.jpg" /></a>3.<b> <u>Learning any martial art is designed to take a long time.</u></b> Really, the martial path is all about the journey, not the destination - and a fast trip is often not the generally recommended road. Any school or program promising to make your child into a black belt in X number of years is one you should probably run from as quickly as humanly possible. Also, let your child know that the martial path is all about delayed gratification and the Puritan Work Ethic. The hard work put in will certainly pay off, but that payoff isn't always immediately apparent - which is why is is so important that your child enjoy the time they spend in class. Children can get frustrated or "Are we there yet?" bored easily if they don't know what to expect.</div>
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4. <u><b>Make sure your child is dressed appropriately for class.</b></u> Whether or not instruction happens in a traditional setting with uniforms and belts/sashes or in a church basement with t-shirts and sweatpants, your child should have what s/he needs to actively participate. Watches, rings, metal headbands, jeans, pencil skirts, big belt buckles and the like can restrict movement or make for safety hazards on the mat. Also, don't rely on the instructor to keep tabs on necklaces and bracelets during the class. The best rule of thumb is to not wear any accessory not used on the mat to the training hall in the first place. </div>
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5. <u><b>Be mindful of after-school programs that offer a martial arts component where everyone must participate.</b></u> Again, if your child isn't really feeling martial arts, any session where they must participate will not be pleasant for them at all, which will make for a bad experience for them, their dojo/dojang mates and their instructor. You know that feeling you get before heading into a mandatory work-related meeting that you really don't want to go to in the first place? They'll feel the same way every time Karate Day approaches if they don't want to be there. If your child has tried the class a few times and it really isn't his/her thing, talk to the program director about finding an alternate activity.</div>
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6. <u><b>This is your child's activity, not yours.</b></u> Just because you always wanted to study martial arts doesn't mean your child does. Sure, the discipline and character-building that martial arts instruction provides is great, but it doesn't necessarily mean your child will be as anxious to learn to do new stuff like punch/kick things and scream like a banshee as you might have been. If Suzy shows a genuine interest in joining a class, great! But if she tells you that she's not sure once she gets there AND really seems out of sorts during class AND keeps expressing to you that she doesn't want to go back AND you are more enthusiastic about going than she is, it might be time for you to sign up for class and find another activity for her.</div>
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7. <u><b>Remember: It's supposed to be fun.</b></u> Martial arts instruction has some built-in stressors - like the pressure of learning forms, understanding bunkai, promotions and remembering dojo etiquette - but it still should be enjoyable to the folks participating, whether they are 5 or 55. Generally speaking, participating in class and other martial arts-related activities (tournaments, seminars and/or visiting other schools) should be something your child looks forward to. When it isn't a happy experience anymore - and not just because the expectations are higher or the curriculum challenges are getting tougher - it may be time to think about exploring new activities.</div>
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Not an exhaustive list by any means, but this is enough to get you started on deciding if martial arts is right for your child. If you have any questions or are a martial artist or parent who has tips for those trying to decide if martial arts instruction is right for their child, feel free to add them in the comment section below.</div>
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-27864911025375264242015-02-28T22:40:00.000-05:002015-03-16T13:23:10.645-04:00Wow - Didn't See That One Coming...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Last week, Training Partner Ed gave me a call. We usually teach together at the dojo at least once (and sometimes twice) a week and since we try to train together at least one other day each week, I thought he was calling to see what my schedule was so we could do some kata and/or bunkai drills.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Training Partner Ed and me right before<br />
the sparring portion of our shodan grading<br />
(May 2009)</td></tr>
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Imagine my surprise when he told me he had decided to put his house on the market and move his family to South Carolina where he owns property. "The cost of living is much cheaper there," he said. "What's the point of having land when we're not even using it?"<br />
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As a mom in the homestretch of paying college tuition, I can totally relate to the cost of living thing. Although his oldest son just started middle school and his youngest is only in grade school, they will be flipping their tassels and moving into some institution of higher learning's dormitory before you know it. The sooner the savings starts, the easier it will be when it comes time to register for classes. It sucks to work just to pay bills, it really does. I'm happy that he and his family have found a solution for life's treadmill, I really am.<br />
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Doesn't mean I won't miss him, though.<br />
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Ed and I met at the local YWCA where I'd gone to train one day because their huge aerobics rooms had mirrors that my dojo didn't to help me be truer to my angles when learning kata Saifa. He was on the treadmill next to his wife when I walked into the weight room with a Goju t-shirt on. I'd only worn the shirt once before (it was a gift) and Ed, who had just moved to our little hamlet from New York City, nearly broke his neck getting off the treadmill to ask me where I trained. That was 2007. He started coming to my dojo shortly after and we've been friends ever since, training almost daily together in the year leading up to our shodan test, which we made it through side-by-side in 2009. We eventually left that school together and open another two years after that.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzl2khdKwxXWyTsyac69C0MYbuWkdpfQ48gg01umRoTBHmc2XWCv9SIcyXu39ZvhnQN1iqAhwA8ot5pEvCUKxuDdXgwavTUforVhDYModirilQbcAARFtg6BoNPd_kh46lJg-xB9aQDzI/s1600/Ed+becomes+Black+Belt_Fotor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzl2khdKwxXWyTsyac69C0MYbuWkdpfQ48gg01umRoTBHmc2XWCv9SIcyXu39ZvhnQN1iqAhwA8ot5pEvCUKxuDdXgwavTUforVhDYModirilQbcAARFtg6BoNPd_kh46lJg-xB9aQDzI/s1600/Ed+becomes+Black+Belt_Fotor.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ed with gifts from his wife<br />
just after his shodan grading. Notice the<br />
big smile and the shiny new black belt<br />
around his waist :-)</td></tr>
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When I say he is my dojo brother, I mean it in every sense of the word. He's pushed me hard on the mat, made me want to be better at this martial thing and made me want to slug him a few times, too. I can definitely say I really am a better martial artist for having met and trained with him - but I'm also a better person.<br />
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So, yeah, waving from the curb as he and his family drive away from it for the last time won't be easy. Part of me hopes his house stays on the marketfor a minute and he'll be stuck in the frigid cold of the great State of New York for at lest another year (or two, or 10), but that's, of course, just selfish me thinking out loud.<br />
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In reality, I wish him the best: a happy, healthy life full of all the things he and his family deserve. It's kinda sad that has to be done 800 miles away, but that's what martial life encourages you to do, really, doesn't it - broaden your horizons and think outside of any given box, right?<br />
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He better write/email/text/send training videos/visit/invite me to his kids' graduations and weddings, daggone it. Plus he promised to lead the "Dance Felicia's urn around the church" brigade if I check out before he does, so he better not forget how to get back up here, LOL...<br />
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The thought of him not being just down the road makes me more than a little sad. Hopefully I'll have another few months or so to get use to the idea, at least.<br />
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Doesn't mean I have to like it, though (insert pouty emoji here)...</div>
Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-89889014327307418152014-12-28T11:07:00.003-05:002022-07-19T14:30:40.283-04:00Sandan: The Brand with the Three Stripes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Last Saturday, my school held its annual year-end grading. This time, I was on the floor grading, too.<br />
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I hate grading. Worse than going to the dentist. Worse than doing my taxes. Worse than dealing with my ex. Yes, it's that bad - and if I never had to do it again, I'd be totally fine with that.<br />
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But since yondan Training Partner Ed tossed my name in the hat, I was added to the candidate's list. Groovy.<br />
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My training - in an actual dojo - has been a sporadic mess due to my looks-like-retail-but-it-ain't work schedule. When grading was first mentioned, I thought it was a joke.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRskhoiO_Nk1t1gFWnxmeaHVn7Sp9Cnmf7MJu1UPXHGyZE1eId-yRsGPayuEIpE0iZvvRwpT9Hj2xAUSMlqtK2cp5-VKoUuJXXGiYiGd02Nv3KeDIh-0C5JPaz5BWlNClCOQGKoJxIUFY/s1600/photo-13.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRskhoiO_Nk1t1gFWnxmeaHVn7Sp9Cnmf7MJu1UPXHGyZE1eId-yRsGPayuEIpE0iZvvRwpT9Hj2xAUSMlqtK2cp5-VKoUuJXXGiYiGd02Nv3KeDIh-0C5JPaz5BWlNClCOQGKoJxIUFY/s1600/photo-13.JPG" width="203" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Right after my hair exploded...</td></tr>
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Then came a request for a karate bio, which had to be submitted via email and include previous grading dates, rank earned and ranking instructor. After that was approved, a 50-question test was emailed to me. It was designed to be research-based (in that you were supposed to look stuff up) but it was hard. I mean REALLY hard.<br />
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In academia, the one adage always heard is this: knowing the format of the test is half the battle. I had no idea what the format of the test would be at all. Training Partner Ed worked with me - as he has for every grading since sankyu - on self-defense and kata bunkai and the like. Bunkai was a bit tricky because some of the last katas I've learned are straight Goju-Ryu, not USA Goju, which made some movements and angles different. We ironed out the wrinkles for about three weeks before the grading, but my brain was fried.<br />
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On grading day, the format was pretty similar to almost every other grading - cup-emptying warmup --> kata ---> bunkai, but the bunkai was a bit different; they had each of the four black-belt candidates (two for sandan, one for nidan and one for shodan) do a kata of his/her choice and extrapolate three techniques from the kata and demonstrate the bunkai with ukes. J, the other sandman candidate, chose Superempi as his kata (one I'm still learning) and really did the daggone thing. I chose Shisochin, but had six techniques to demonstrate. Two friends/fellow karateka, Peg and Allyson, stepped in to assist, but the seniors quickly chose the big fellas with the HUGE hands to uke for me (do the grabs and chokes).<br />
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Still not done with me, one of the first senseis I ever worked with - one who gave me hell as a white/green/purple belt and who is also a godan in small-circle jujitsu - announced that he wanted to see more "ju" techniques as opposed to the "go" techniques I'd shown. He walked up to me, grabbed my gi collar and told me he wasn't going to let go unless I made him. He checked to make sure I was able to breathe OK then told me to begin when I was ready. I used a wrist manipulation/lock he'd shown me many years ago on him and - surprise, surprise! - I was able to peel his steel-trap hands off my gi, lock his elbow and take him to the ground. He was an amazing teacher, so I knew it would work, but I was still surprised it did if that makes sense...<br />
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Thinking I was in the clear, Hanshi announced that he wanted to see one more technique: an escape from a rear choke. Ironically, one of my students who is in the corrections academy was going over rear chokehold escapes the night before with Training Partner Ed, who is a retired corrections officer. The two escapes they'd worked on were fresh in my head and had I thought about asking Ed if he was wearing a cup, I would have gone with the second one (a slap ---> grab of the gonads before spinning around with said gonads still in hand, LOL). Instead, I went back to "go" and ended up on the floor with Ed, who just didn't stop once I got his hands off my neck. I'm talking leg locks and all that. It was actually kind of funny once Hanshi said "yame!" but while he was trying to flip/trap me, I kept thinking "What the heck is he doing?"<br />
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<span id="yui_3_10_0_1_1419781218877_272">Tameshiwari was next. Ed called my breaks - ax kick through two boards followed by a haito. It went well.<br />
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My son was there to take pictures and video, which was greatly appreciated. Most every sensei I ever trained under was there as well, and it felt really good to see my students do their thing and actually leave the dojo with all my teeth, LOL. That and the amazing baked chicken wings someone made for the Holiday Party that followed were the day's top highlights. Yummy :-D<br />
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The best part? No grading talk for four whole years at the very least!!</div>
Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-31487442451844735322014-11-27T13:34:00.001-05:002015-08-18T19:12:03.748-04:00Learning from the Abduction of Carlesha Freeland-Gaither<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJb5c9nFQHKMQfJA33KARN-aNLLvjNdAhXwvRkQVBjZsOzOJXDpPpM8pOsbZgn3decK6Lhn-v3XF85VVGzMdBNf-vd7A6o5vKnGNiFqTSTaXUe5bbP87GEAKvEB5xagRWDd39GCf1JuAY/s1600/Screaming.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJb5c9nFQHKMQfJA33KARN-aNLLvjNdAhXwvRkQVBjZsOzOJXDpPpM8pOsbZgn3decK6Lhn-v3XF85VVGzMdBNf-vd7A6o5vKnGNiFqTSTaXUe5bbP87GEAKvEB5xagRWDd39GCf1JuAY/s1600/Screaming.jpg" width="130" /></a><span class="yiv2034009356" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1417112904906_5336" style="color: #262626;">On Nov. 2, 2014, a 22 year-old woman named Carlesha Freeland-Gaither was kidnapped as she walked home from a family function in Philadelphia a little before 10PM. Her abductor approached her after she’d crossed the street and appeared to ask her a question before accosting her and dragging her to his car as she kicked, screamed and tried to get away. In the struggle, she lost her glasses and her cellphone, which were found on the sidewalk near the shattered glass left behind from the passenger window she managed to kick out before her abductor drove away.</span><br />
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Here’s the footage from building surveillance cameras that were rolling during the attack: </div>
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<a class="yiv2034009356" href="http://abcnews.go.com/video/embed?id=26665002" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1417112904906_5357" rel="nofollow" style="color: #196ad4; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;" target="_blank">http://abcnews.go.com/video/embed?id=26665002</a><br />
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Carlesha was found alive in Maryland a few days later, but we all know this situation could have been a whole lot worse.<br />
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While I don’t think it’s ever a good idea to blame the victim of a crime - because a woman SHOULD be able to walk down the street without being accosted – I do think it’s important to examine what could have gone differently.<br />
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<span class="yiv2034009356" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1417112904906_5365" style="color: #2f353b;">First, the attacker drives along the same street Carlesha walked down(before turning off), indicating that he may have seen her before he parked. He gets out of his car and walks to the corner he knows she will soon cross. At about the 1:30 minute mark, she passes him and keeps it moving, but, after a brief pause, he follows her and appears to say something to get her to stop and turn around. Suddenly, he gets very close to her and, at the 1:51 mark, he grabs her and drags her down the block toward his parked car. The trip to the car took about 15 seconds – probably the most terrifying seconds of Carlesha’s life.</span><br />
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<span class="yiv2034009356" style="color: #2f353b;">Through the remainder of the video, you see her fighting back and trying to get away – until about the 2:15 mark when it looks as if he picks her up and puts her into his car. But it doesn’t even end there, as an eyewitness says she kicked out both back windows in an effort to escape before he drove away.</span><br />
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<span class="yiv2034009356" style="color: #2f353b;">Once she was grabbed, she did everything right, including making noise and fighting – hard – to free herself.</span></div>
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<span class="yiv2034009356" style="color: #2f353b;">But it seemed as if the trouble started before she was grabbed.</span><br />
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<span class="yiv2034009356" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1417112904906_5350" style="color: #2f353b;">Awareness dictates that familiarity with what is going on around you is of the utmost importance. Once he stopped her with whatever it was he said, he got way too close way too fast. He did come up from behind, but he was close enough to reach out and touch (which he did) by the time she really had a chance to react. </span></div>
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<span class="yiv2034009356" style="color: #2f353b;">And most attacks happen just that quickly.</span><br />
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<span class="yiv2034009356" style="color: #2f353b;">Again, I’m not saying it was her fault at all, but anyone you don’t know who gets within an arm’s distance away is probably too close. Keeping that distance between you and a person you don’t know – especially when you are alone at night – is always a good idea. If they move close, you move away. Keep your outstretched hands in front of you when it feels like a threat may be eminent. A bit of verbal de-escalation, in the form of saying “Look, I don’t want any trouble. Stay away from me” can be used, too.</span><br />
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<span class="yiv2034009356" style="color: #2f353b;">But the speed with which she was accosted would make a reaction to stop it tough, because the shock of being attacked usually takes more than a few seconds to recover from.</span><br />
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Still, it’s important to do something – like Carlesha did - rather than doing nothing. Her reaction (immediate screaming) and the struggle it caused, made folks notice something wasn’t quite right with the situation.<br />
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But a word about the other bystanders (including the person in the car who watches for a few seconds before backing up): it stands to reason that if you see someone being dragged to a car while screaming “Help me!” that you should call 911 immediately. And if you are in a car at the top of a one-way street, perhaps you could even do something other than watch the drama unfold while waiting on the police to arrive. At the very least, get a license plate number.<br />
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Again – because an attacker watching you usually has an advantage, be that the element of surprise, a weapon or the fact that he/she may be a whole lot bigger and stronger - waiting until they attack may be too late. Being aware of what is going on nearby – that guy you pass on the corner, the dark shadow in the doorway, the van parked next to your car – might just save you from being attacked in the first place.<br />
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So let’s say you see someone who makes you feel uncomfortable as you approach. Cross to the other side of the street. If he/she crosses too, cross back. If they do the same, turn and walk in the direction you came from. It may feel ridiculous, but I say better paranoid and alive than too trusting and abducted.<br />
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The reality is that not everyone survives being taken to another location – and I’m very glad that Carlesha did.</div>
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-38868467523321468752014-10-11T23:33:00.002-04:002022-07-19T14:20:07.322-04:00Ummmm...no<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlMypIoxDXG26x6EGI5X5ZP92Xgjg0gMqOc-mY6Zy8I2L9bSUu2t9vuSAkqesn4FKFXgpmCEs5RjvpCqoXlwcOxus37zgwK4x4MM-RqfR4E8PtzJqY13WPQKG-jPObONZc_sxVTP9jVqY/s1600/save-water-with-your-toilet.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlMypIoxDXG26x6EGI5X5ZP92Xgjg0gMqOc-mY6Zy8I2L9bSUu2t9vuSAkqesn4FKFXgpmCEs5RjvpCqoXlwcOxus37zgwK4x4MM-RqfR4E8PtzJqY13WPQKG-jPObONZc_sxVTP9jVqY/s1600/save-water-with-your-toilet.JPG" width="320" /></a>I visited a dojang for a TKD class earlier this week that I've visited a few times before. It's always a good class - especially since they work lots of kicks and stances.<br />
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After class was done, as I bowed out and started to walk down the hall to my gear bag, one of the adults leaned over and asked if he could talk to me for a second.<br />
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"Y'know - I've noticed that you change out of your dobak in the hallway after class. You do that A LOT. Not sure if Goju is just different that how we do things here, but some folks might be upset with that," he said.<br />
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"With what?" I asked.<br />
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"Your changing out of your dobak in the hallway."<br />
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My first instinct was to remind him that I wear a doGI. My next was to apologize for making him or anyone who might happen by and see my arm uncovered uncomfortable. I did neither.<br />
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For the record, it's not like I'm in a push-up bra and a thong in that hallway. I wear a Lycra tank top that goes all the way to my waist and bike shorts that don't end until the middle of my thigh under my gi always. I wear those things to absorb sweat (I detest a wet gi sticking to me when I'm trying to move around the mat) - but also because many of the places I train don't have changing rooms - only bathrooms for folks to change into and out of their martial arts uniforms, just like this particular dojang. And, no, the idea of peeling off my gi while standing barefoot next to a toilet bowl is not my idea of a good time. Besides, since the entire class cannot usually fit into a bathroom at once, it saves me time as I don't have to wait for an available stall.<br />
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Then I understood what he was basically saying: HE was uncomfortable with me sitting on the bench across from the bathrooms in that dead-end hallway taking off my gi top to put on my t-shirt then removing my gi bottoms to slip on my sweats. I wasn't quite sure what the issue was about that, but I was pretty sure it wasn't mine.<br />
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So no, I didn't squeeze into the ladies' room to change. I just waited until he dipped into the men's room before I slipped out of my gi top and into my t-shirt. I'm all for "when in Rome..." - but I do have a problem with being made to feel guilty about someone else's discomfort. Still his reaction - and that he felt the need to talk to me about it - was surprising.<br />
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That I was surprised was kind of surprising as well, but whatever. It's not like I haven't experienced crazy in and around the training hall before.<br />
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And I'm pretty certain that it won't be my last time, either.</div>
Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-86200945556527886102014-09-01T17:38:00.003-04:002014-11-27T12:08:42.883-05:00Chick With Sticks<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje0xR8M2aRfYjN0aGvBj6wSXvh-aHHo7luOxuTeBrnom06y9r9tgMxcWb5q8r7lHTV3eG7bz_U86ocbT2A-hD426oWvdFtU7gHfNc71HOu9hLByvp08VXl-QPb6eOxBTpYaIBBTxH8GHc/s1600/securedownload-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje0xR8M2aRfYjN0aGvBj6wSXvh-aHHo7luOxuTeBrnom06y9r9tgMxcWb5q8r7lHTV3eG7bz_U86ocbT2A-hD426oWvdFtU7gHfNc71HOu9hLByvp08VXl-QPb6eOxBTpYaIBBTxH8GHc/s1600/securedownload-1.jpeg" height="200" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The newsroom where I work no longer has<br />
an operating press. In that huge space is<br />
where I sometimes practice my weapons.</td></tr>
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I've been training with the bo for about five years, sai for about three and tonfa for close to two.<br />
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Bo was a great first weapon for me because it helped me learn what it was to use it as an extension of my body. But because two hands controlled the bo, it wasn't apparent that my dominant right hand was significantly more coordinated than my left until I played with sai for the first time. Not only were they heavy as all get out, but my left hand looked quite sad doing drills because the dexterity and strength just were not the same as on the other side. My then sensei suggested starting with my non-dominant hand for sai drills and having it "teach" my dominant side - something he learned accidentally as a natural lefty. It worked - and I still do single-hand drills on my left side first to this day. Because the tonfa are lighter and use a lot of wrist flexion and extension, doing sai drills before I start tonfa drills/hojo undo has helped with my dexterity and strength.<br />
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A few months ago, I started taking drum lessons. I've played for a bit, but wanted to study them the same way I study karate: with folks who also study - and teach - theory. I've noticed a lot of similarities between the two - sticks not withstanding - including:<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><b>The sanctity of the practice hall - </b>On the mat, all the stuff that happened before you got there - work, the bills, the needed oil change and other stuff we call "life" - is supposed to remain outside the door. For that block of time, the mind clears and martial thoughts take priority. It's the same with the drums - as the focus has to be on the task at hand to keep the mistakes to a minimum. True, no one will get hurt if your foot misses the bass or the cymbal crash is forgotten, but the beat you're supposed to be keeping/accentuating will get lost in the sauce.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><b>Upper/Lower body separation</b> - In karate, there are plenty of times when your arms are doing one thing and your legs are doing another. Behind a trap set, it certainly is the same. The concentration it takes to pull that off - and keep pulling it off - is incredibly intense and is remarkably a lot like kata, kumite or two-person bunkai drills.</li>
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<ul style="text-align: left;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_4weeHwKFTQ21LlFyTh-7T-fpDDOcINKMB7BBL_nb5VPaA0IOInO4UVdvH47stRTWhOdNCfP47ZLC8ggte2DDKBBbR8MyeoXZyODgkSExF9utLOmKBZMvJAv2hnfHnD-YMG8qpAlBFfY/s1600/IMG_1252.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_4weeHwKFTQ21LlFyTh-7T-fpDDOcINKMB7BBL_nb5VPaA0IOInO4UVdvH47stRTWhOdNCfP47ZLC8ggte2DDKBBbR8MyeoXZyODgkSExF9utLOmKBZMvJAv2hnfHnD-YMG8qpAlBFfY/s1600/IMG_1252.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My tonfa - which my Beloved calls "chair legs" :-)</td></tr>
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<li><b>The basics are the foundation to everything </b>- With the drums, basic structure - control (tempo, and volume), accuracy and sometimes power all make the music. It's the same in karate. It takes all hands and feet working together to make it work - because a strong bass but a weak snare is useless. It's the same as throwing a perfectly-place kick but falling over before the foot can return to the ground. Kihon is kihon, it really is - whether it's barefoot on the dojo floor or sitting down behind a snare.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><b>Practice makes for a perfect experience</b> - Just like the kata in my kitchen (while my Beloved and Squirrel are asleep) that begins with drill warm-ups, practice is a necessary part of musicianship as well. My musician brother talks about the importance of "shedding" - that nose-to-the-grindstone practice in the figurative shed behind the house where the kinks get ironed out and the real work gets done. As a classically trained violinist (I began playing at age 7), I have an idea of what it takes musically to connect with your instrument (because I didn't do it with my violin, which is probably why I don't still play today). Things aren't anywhere near perfect because of practice, but the art of devoting time to picking up those sticks every day makes for a much better experience.</li>
</ul>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><b>When you're thinking about it, you're not doing it</b> - This may just be unique to my quirky brain, but being in the moment and suddenly <i>realizing</i> I'm in the moment makes for a mess. In the dojo when it's randori time and I'm thinking about what to do next, that pause between the thinking and the doing is when I'm getting hit or having the technique flipped around and applied on me. Same is true with the drums: thinking about it is the surest way to guarantee that it will fall apart in 3...2...1 seconds. When I'm doing it, I'm totally in the zone. And when I'm there, the only way to the other side is to keep going.</li>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSfuhH1a7bXq2s9TET7wlzxKLAWX5WmV6huTmXqaKqeYThjazOESGdWpXvEBs56DC00-LtZFzglcSUBxxDASl7rnRbYSPecUPfHP9lAkQBrYdIl3QpHQQkHNGEz198HF0YBvIlc8wDng4/s1600/securedownload.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSfuhH1a7bXq2s9TET7wlzxKLAWX5WmV6huTmXqaKqeYThjazOESGdWpXvEBs56DC00-LtZFzglcSUBxxDASl7rnRbYSPecUPfHP9lAkQBrYdIl3QpHQQkHNGEz198HF0YBvIlc8wDng4/s1600/securedownload.jpeg" height="200" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My snare practice pad </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</ul>
<b>There is no "best" side</b> - My first sensei's favorite saying was "In karate, you've got your good side and your other good side." What he meant was this: if your strong/dominant side is incapacitated or busy holding your baby/shielding another from harm's way, your non-dominant side needs to pick up the slack post haste. And when you can't, it's obvious which side needs some extra drill time. It's the same on the drums. I'm left-footed but right handed, which already means my kit is a little unorthodoxed - but it also means I don't have the luxury of changing hands to do anything. My left side is not nearly as loud as my right when both are on snare, so guess which hand gets a little more drilling time during warmups?<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><b>Being quiet is not allowed</b> - It's usually pretty difficult for new karate students to get into the idea of loud, unabashedly free, roof-moving kiais. Instructors encourage screaming like a banshee on the mat because the voice can be just as much of a weapon as the rest of the body. There's no effective way to kiai quietly, just like there's not really a quiet way to play a percussion instrument - there just isn't. Still, it doesn't stop me from trying, though (I'm as shy in the rehearsal hall as my new students are in the dojo, what can I say?). What I hear most from my instructor during my lessons is "I can't hear your foot." So, just like karate spirit yells, consistency is key. If the tom, snare, high-hat, crash, ride or bass fades to a dull roar when it ain't supposed to, something will be missing, which is totally not good.</li>
</ul>
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</ul>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>T<b>he journey is more important than the destination</b> - Martial arts is definitely a life-time pursuit. It's not meant to be something done for a few months or even years then put on the shelf until the spirit to dust it off and try again hits you. It's supposed to take a long time to learn, understand and even longer to master. Music is the same way. I know folks who have been playing since they were barely able to walk and still - 40 years later - talk about stuff they still need to work on or learn. Similar conversations happen in the dojo, with karate folks who've been on the mat for decades. </li>
</ul>
And like karate, the best part about learning to understand this instrument for me is that there is always something new to learn. Hopefully, the learning will continue for a long time to come.</div>
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-1073551161626464692014-08-19T23:29:00.000-04:002014-11-27T12:11:33.474-05:00On Michael Brown: A Conversation with Squirrel<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
OK, I tried to avoid it, but now I hafta write about the Ferguson situation.<br />
<br />
Yes, I'm a mom who with a son who is only two years older than Michael Brown, the young man who was shot to death by a police officer less than two weeks ago.<br />
<br />
As an editor, I spend lots of time each day sifting through wire stories about the unrest and police activity going on in that small town in Missouri. And because there is a television in my workspace, I'm also able to catch press conferences and the like during the day as well.<br />
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I gotta tell you something: this is making me sick.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiGs3Ia6Iz0DB5ImUr6PFnkQj4C_DMGOUEAm97jrb-JBMAhxbGt7X1aONbHxTGxYCJ_rGkMDhNybm49Koppm6n5rKpBXoRQgCkj5D115ckiA66J9Mv_7XJgu0V0W8eSVicfYhoQAu80nva/s1600/r.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiGs3Ia6Iz0DB5ImUr6PFnkQj4C_DMGOUEAm97jrb-JBMAhxbGt7X1aONbHxTGxYCJ_rGkMDhNybm49Koppm6n5rKpBXoRQgCkj5D115ckiA66J9Mv_7XJgu0V0W8eSVicfYhoQAu80nva/s1600/r.jpeg" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #494949; font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 13px; text-align: start;">Lesley McSpadden (R) and Michael Brown Sr. (L), parents of 18-year-old Michael Brown,</span></td></tr>
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<br />
I'm not going to wax poetic about the travesty that is shooting an unarmed teen to death - not at all.<br />
<br />
I won't try to pretend I can do anything but feel helpless when I see the faces of his parents in the photographs that come across my work computer screen.<br />
<br />
I will not say how my stomach drops when the footage of the police in riot gear, shields and tanks with scope riffles roll across the television screen.<br />
<br />
But I will say this: my son, Squirrel, is beginning to stress about it. And that simply is not OK.<br />
<br />
Today, he sent me a text message asking if I'd heard about the latest shooting, this one in St. Louis, which is only a few miles way from Ferguson. His choice of words told me he was upset and not really too sure of what to do with this information.<br />
<br />
Turns out he'd spent the last hour or so watching CNN. He'd convinced himself that the latest shooting - specifically the way in which it was covered - was designed to only do one thing: justify the police action (unruly man brandishing a knife is lawfully killed when he refuses to obey a police order). He called it "death by suicide" and couldn't believe how quickly the media jumped on it.<br />
<br />
I told him what I tell my journalism students: timeliness - stories of similar vein happening around the same time - is one of the seven news values that help editors and TV/radio news producers determine if a story should be covered. Because the dissemination of information was a major problem in the tiny hamlet of Ferguson, the larger metropolis of St. Louis did not make the mistake of even tying to appear that there was information being hidden. The press was around because there was breaking news down the street in Ferguson. St. Louis, probably learning from Ferguson's mis-cues, got the information out to the public via the press as soon as they could. Yes, the investigation is ongoing, but transparency is important to help people know what's happening and figure out a way to deal with it.<br />
<br />
We chatted for a long time. By the time we were done, he was calmer and a bit more understanding of the process. Yes, he was still upset, but seemed able to find a place to put that, if that makes any sense.<br />
<br />
We will talk about it again tomorrow, I'm sure.<br />
<br />
But that we have to again tomorrow, is not OK.<br />
<br />
Neither is the idea that we even have to have reminder discussions and talk about "what to do if" and think about safer courses of action (he's a martial artist, too).<br />
<br />
That is the legacy of situations like this, unfortunately. Teachable moments are usually one-shot deals, not gifts that keep on giving.<br />
<br />
I feel that sinking thing that lets me know I can't protect my almost 21-year-old child from everything.<br />
<br />
And it absolutely sucks...</div>
Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-12327816630107540632014-06-16T12:17:00.000-04:002014-06-16T12:17:38.361-04:00It Ain't Her Fault<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
What do you get when a few journalists together in a newsroom and a poorly written press release about an attempted rape comes off the fax machine?<br />
<br />
Lively debate.<br />
<br />
Here's the scenario: the police beat reporter mentioned that the release included a comment from the district attorney's office about the party the victim went to the night she was attacked and that she may have - GASP! - actually consumed alcohol at said party. The release said she was asleep when her attacker snuck into her room and tried to rape her. Yep - asleep. Not "passed out." Not "highly inebriated." Not "sloppy drunk." Just. Asleep.<br />
<br />
The reporter and I had the same question: why was it necessary to mention that she'd gone to a party and possibly drank the night she was a victim of a violent crime?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Allergic to nonsense...</b><br /></td></tr>
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We saw it like this: had the crime been an attempted robbery and she asleep when it occurred, would the fact that she drank have been mentioned? Honestly, I was surprised they did not mention the type of nightgown she was wearing during the attack.<br />
<br />
The other two editors didn't agree. They did not see the terms "alcohol" and "party" as faulting the victim, but only as indicators that she was unable to defend herself. "It just goes to illustrate what a scum this guy really is because he attacked someone who obviously could not defend herself," the desk editor said.<br />
<br />
Remember, the information said ASLEEP. Not DRUNK. Another editor said the wording used probably showed that she was drunk because if she wasn't, she might have been able to fight back. A sleeping person, he said, would surely have been able to react.<br />
<br />
But nowhere in the info we got did it say she was unable to react. Or that she didn't. That seemed to me to be total speculation.<br />
<br />
And as a result, the reporter did not want to include it in the story. The desk editor overruled her - but suggested that she discuss it with the managing editor if she still had a problem with it. The words were still hanging in a bubble above us - like in a cartoon - and the reporter was out of her chair and on her way to do just that. And guess what? It was decided it was OK to include the info about the party as long as it was attributed to the DA who said it.<br />
<br />
And my mouth is still hanging open.<br />
<br />
Let me fill in some blanks: the other two editors and the managing editors are male. The reporter and I are not.<br />
<br />
Did that have anything to do with the idea that the three of them didn't quite seem to get the victim blaming/slut shaming the DA was trying to push via the release? I'm sure it had a lot to do with it.<br />
<br />
And I was HOT for the rest of the daggone day.<br />
<br />
Just so we're clear, it is never ok to make the victim of any crime the reason s/he was the victim. I have a real problem with the idea that women in sexual assault situations are somehow the exception. What she wore, what she consumed, whether she kissed the assailant are TOTALLY irrelevant when force is involved or a "no" is ignored.<br />
<br />
Asleep in your bed in your own home seems like a place to assume you are relatively safe. The assumption of fault on the part of the sleeper is a stretch in my book.<br />
<br />
But, I'm sure the DA is betting that more folks in the possible jury pool will be swayed to think that somehow, the victim does bare some onus because, well, she had the audacity to go to a party and possibly drink the night she was attacked. And you know what? The DA might be right.<br />
<br />
And that's a total, total shame, IMHO...</div>
Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-89048667809301563592014-05-21T12:45:00.000-04:002014-05-21T12:45:00.336-04:00Really?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
Sandan testing has been mentioned. My reaction, of course, was "Are you kidding me?!?"<br />
<br />
I don't care if I never, ever grade again. Seriously. As long as the learning doesn't stop, I'm good.<br />
<br />
My training has been spotty - other than the outside-the-dojo ancillary stuff. Solo tonfa training, however, is going well, but that and teaching are all I do in gi these days - thanks to my job schedule.<br />
<br />
How ironic is it that just as I begin to settle into my "gotta get it in when I can so I don't get rusty" mindset, THIS gets put out there.<br />
<br />
Truth is often stranger than fiction, I guess...</div>
Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-53201140356049255762014-03-23T17:47:00.001-04:002022-07-19T13:54:00.253-04:00HERstory<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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"<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Every day you learn something new."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">- Dennis Brown (musician)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Last year, I went to a <a href="http://bushidoroad.blogspot.com/2013/03/no-respect.html" target="_blank">tourney in Philly</a> that was one of the worst I'd ever been to - for "executive" competitors, anyway. It made this over 30 girl feel like a total afterthought once the entry fee was paid. But the training partners I went with - all in their 20's - had a great experience, as their rings were run smoothly, none of their center judges took phone calls during the competitions, everything in their respective rings went off without a hitch and their judging was relatively fair. What was a crappy tourney for me was actually a pretty good one for them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">This weekend, I went to a tourney that I'd heard offered lots of competition for senior competitors. The flyer was on my fridge since September and I was pretty happy it fell on one of my off weekends from work. II was happy to see lots of grey-haired judges because I was hopeful they'd be competing as well. And many of them did, which was great for the MALE executive ranks. Not so much for the females.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Adult black belt competition was dead last. They had lots of age group categories (19-29, 30-39, 40-49, 50-59 and 60+) for kata, weapons and sparring, but while there were male competitors to fill every bracket, there were only four executive women - and three of them were in the 19-29 division. The promoter's brilliant idea was to put the women together and make it one big "over 18" category. When I asked why, he chastised me for not pre-registering (so he would know how many women would be in each division - which I don't get, because even if I would have pre-registered, I still would have been the only woman in my division) but finally did me the "favor" of allowing me to compete in my age division - like he did for the lone 60+ male competitor. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Here's the thing about the lone senior male: he presented his a weapons, a "soft" form (no idea what that is) and a regular empty-hand form solo - which allowed him to win his division and make it to three different grand championship rounds. When the women were finally called (after all the executive men did weapons and empty-hand forms), the center judge of the ring told me that since I would be the automatic winner, he was sure that I "didn't just want to do a demo" and thought, in the interest of saving time, I'd be fine with just presenting in the Grand Championship. Funny how no one was worried about the time being lost when Mr. 60+ presented three times by himself (they even presented him his award the same way they normally do: with all three judges greeting and congratulating him after his "win" and been announced; for me, the promoter's daughter handed me the award as I was straightening my gi. "Nice job," she said as she skipped away.). Part of me wanted to insist on being allowed to present my kata in my division - just in the interest of fairness alone - but I worried that my insistence would have been seen as arrogance - and that the judging in the Grand championship would have reflected that.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I should NOT have had to worry about that.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">For those of you keeping score at home, it went like this: </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Although we both "won" our division, senior dude paid $55 to enter, presented kata six times and competed in Grand Championships three times while I paid the same $55 and was a "one and done." He probably had a decent tourney while my experience there absolutely sucked. There's something not quite right about that - but the something new I re-learned this weekend is that a "good tournament" is a totally relative experience.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I'm so tired of wasting my time, money and gas traveling up and down the east coast to get to these tourneys only to find that I'm not really the type of competitor they are marketing to. It sucks to be seen as unimportant to the folks putting the tournament together, it really does.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">So, although I really hoped to be able to compete until my 50th birthday, I'm calling it quits a few years early. This will be my last season doing this tourney circuit stuff. If I hadn't already committed to a few tourneys this summer, I swear this weekend's disaster would've been my last. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">It's such a shame that a desire to compete and the ability to put in the training time and get to the competition site isn't nearly enough. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">To every karate tournament organizer out there who doesn't make sure the five-year-olds and the 50-year-old females have the same kind of quality experience at your tournament as the 6- to 18-year-olds do: shame on you. Sexist, ageist and "you aren't as important" implications are pathetic and have absolutely no place in anything martial at all - even if it is "just" a regional tournament.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">It's Women's History Month here in the states. This just doesn't have to be my history any longer...</span></span></div>
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-22008693639065843182014-03-17T09:46:00.000-04:002014-03-25T13:40:22.891-04:00Dusting and Cleaning<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Last month, we traveled to a tournament in NYC. An annual event, it is free, well-run, free and a great way for our students to see a competitive martial environment without any fears (by us and parents) of them getting injured due to poor ring management/judging. Did I mention it was free?<br />
<br />
Pulling off a fee-less tourney is not easy. Other than the space usage rental, the biggest expense is undoubtedly the awards. Think about it: awards for top three in every division adds up. So how did the tourney organizers supply awards without having to go into their pockets? Simple: they recycled trophies from their association's students and replaced only the placards/plates on them.<br />
<br />
Consequently, some of the awards were smaller or larger than others. You'd think that would hardly be a "thing" - especially at a free tournament - but it was.<br />
<br />
While waiting for the assigned ring to begin for three of my students, I overheard a mom saying the following to the woman standing next to her:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"He won, but look at the size of this trophy! It's not nearly as big as the one the kid who won in the 8-10-year-old beginners ring got! Can you imagine?"</blockquote>
Did she forget that she paid not one thin dime for Junior to compete - nor was there a spectator fee for her to watch Junior do his thing?<br />
<br />
Typically, tournament registration fees range from $45 to $75. If mom, dad, nana and pop-pop come to watch, they pay about $10 each just to get in the gym door. Even if Junior wins and takes home a ginormous trophy, the family is quite a bit in the hole once travel expenses and lunch are factored in. Should the size of the trophy the main issue here?<br />
<br />
Competition should be about testing your mettle in a relatively safe environment - at least that is what we pass along to the students who do compete in our school. Sure, be happy if you happen to pull off a victory or even place, but be just as happy that you had the courage and fortitude to step into the ring in the first place.<br />
<br />
Besides, the bigger the award, the more you have to dust. Seriously.<br />
<br />
In the interest of cutting my household cleaning duties in half, I think I need to donate a few awards towards next year's event.</div>
Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-3519850419097972742014-01-26T18:28:00.001-05:002015-03-16T13:21:29.647-04:00…And Dance by the Light of the Moon<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I did it. I finally left my "this place is literally making me ill" job to go back to freelancing full-time. Doing anything as a freelancer is like a feast or famine crap shoot - but freelance writing/editing pretty much always equals "Food is over-rated anyway!" Especially in my little neck of the woods and in this economy, it's tough, tough, tough to make it outside the walls of corporate America and keep roof overhead with lots of bosses instead of just one. Suffice to say I had a plan (which promptly didn't pan out as planned) then quickly made another.<br />
<br />
That "other" was going back to newspaper work. Understand that, although I am a journalist, I haven't done much newspaper work - other than covering the school board shenanigans of a district a few towns over - in a while. My first job ever was delivering newspapers when I was in eighth grade. After college, I came home and worked as a staffer for that same paper for over a year. And while going through my divorce, I kept roof over the head of my then six-year old son by covering the city beat (both crime and government) at another newspaper. I've always liked the pace that is working for a daily or weekly paper, so when my current plan crashed and burned, I turned my job hunt radar to area newspapers. I've been an editor now for almost three weeks, replacing a guy who'd been with the company for over 30 years. The work is fun, the co-workers great and the pay is a bit better than I expected. I'm happily doing what I love again, and it feels great.<br />
<br />
The only issue I'm having is the hours. My days off rotate - which is fine - but it means my dojo days have dwindled down to a precious few. Once upon a time, I was in the dojo four to five days a week between teaching and learning. This past week, I was only able to squeeze in one class. Sigh…<br />
<br />
But of course that does not mean my training has stopped. My kitchen dojo never closes, and many a night in the past few weeks I've gotten in, kissed my Beloved, petted the dog and kicked off my shoes for kihon and kata. I've also done the same in my pajamas before I headed out of the door. In a way, it forces me to be extremely disciplined as I have to plan my training in advance (just showing up in the kitchen without a plan isn't an option) and resist the urge to watch TV for that first hour I'm home. About the only thing that hasn't changed is my lifting schedule, as my gym is open 24/7, so the cardio and moving of heavy objects (yep, picking things up and putting them down) gets done. My new schedule also makes me appreciate my actual dojo experiences a bit more because I know it might be a minute before I get to see and work with sensei and my training partners again. I do have a tourney in two weeks. I'll only do kata - and since the women's executive division is mighty tiny, I usually get to the grand championship round, which is a very good thing. Winning would be even better (as they give a cash prize), but, one can't have everything.<br />
<br />
In addition to finally being rid of the old place of employ and the angst it was causing, I get to really give my son something that will help him move down his own path: fully paid tuition and room and board. See, part of my problem at the old gig was the pay - and how, as a result, I HAD to do freelancing gigs just to make the ends meet. It was getting harder and harder to pay his college fees and the worry about how I was ever going to be able to afford his HUGE (I mean, it's gargantuan) dorm fee was constant.<br />
<br />
Near the middle of last month, I went to see him in a college production. He's a Dance/Performing Arts major and had decided to challenge himself last semester by not only taking a class in a style he had never studied before, but by auditioning for a school production in that style. Not only was the show really, really good, my son was amazing! Now, trust me, I'm used to seeing things from him during performances that make me "Ooooo!" and "Ahhhh" - but nothing like this. It was obvious that he'd gotten so much better with his lines and his movements than was just six months before (and I wasn't the only one who noticed; a choreographer in the audience sent a text to one of his instructors DURING THE SHOW to ask who he was!! OMG!). When the houselights in the auditorium came on, I just sat there in kind of a stupor, thinking that he really, truly BELONGS on stage because, well, to put it simply, he is a dancer. Before that performance, I'd thought of "dancer" as something he <i>wanted to be</i>, not as something he was. He needs to learn his art and hone his craft - and here, at his chosen college, was where he seemed best suited to do that. As his parent, it was up to me to find a way to help him.<br />
<br />
Just before he loaded up his hooptie (the very old and kinda rusty car that gets him back and forth) to head back to school today, we sat and talked about school a bit - and I assured him that it would be paid for without a loan. It felt really good to say that, it really did.<br />
<br />
So, I'll find a way to get the training in, I know it. If my 20-yr-old can hold down his part in the studio and in the classroom (he had a 3.6 GPA last semester), the least I can do is my part in the dojo.<br />
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And I'm pretty sure it will all be OK.<br />
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-89615988005749639682013-12-31T23:20:00.001-05:002013-12-31T23:22:12.272-05:00A New Year's Wish<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Wishing a happy and healthy budo-filled 2014 to you and yours!<br />
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"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors and let each New Year find you a better [person]."</div>
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- Benjamin Franklin</div>
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-83232626475188014712013-12-30T23:51:00.001-05:002013-12-31T00:43:20.118-05:00Think Like a Cockroach<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://photobucket.com/images/cockroach" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="cockroach photo: roach.jpg" border="0" height="210" src="http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu230/vaclassicalliberal/roach.jpg" width="320" /></a>The week between Christmas and New Year's Day is generally a slow one in karate land with not much in the way of regular classes happening. But one of our friends in NYC was holding class in his basement dojo and invited Training Partner Ed, myself and a a few students down tonight. And of course, we jumped at the chance.<br />
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Master Dave takes his karate very seriously, teaching in three different locations in the Bronx at least six nights a week. Because we travel over an hour to get to him, he likes to make the time we spend with him "special" in an "I don't think I <i>can</i> do another roundhouse kick" sort of way that makes your hair drip sweat. In addition to being a walking Goju and Shotokan kata encyclopedia, he is also famous for his "two minute drills" - where he fills the last few moments of every class with karate-related aerobic stuff designed to make you see what you're made of (or puke trying to find out). I aways leave his dojo wondering how I am able to even walk out - because not everyone does.<br />
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Tonight, after a invigorating warmup and some kihon, Master Dave had us work some lead leg kicking/lead hand punching speed drills. Speed was the operative word because fights on the street and in the ring happen fast. No one wants to get caught <u>thinking</u> of a confrontation-killing combination instead of moving to avoid, block or lay a hand or foot on an adversary. Openings, he said, don't come along all that often, and when they do, they don't tend to stick around very long. Good fighters look for openings and move in before they disappear. Great fighters find ways to create them.<br />
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"You have to think like a cockroach," he said "- because a cockroach will always find a way to get in."<br />
<br />
Even the best fighters on the planet make mistakes from time to time by leaving something open while trying to block or counter - even if it is only for a fraction of a second. Finding that crack in the armor and moving in before it gets plugged up is the key to holding your own, he said. Then we spent the next hour following up defensive/blitz-stopping side and front kicks with lead-hand/rear-hand combos designed to help us think like a cockroach and get in - by any means necessary.<br />
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Next we worked more upper-body kihon with a makiwara, checking each other on form breaks and hitches that could telegraph intentions to an adversary. "Remember, the person in front of you can be a cockroach, too. He's trying to find a way inside," Master Dave said, reminding us that each shoulder dip before a reverse punch or slight drop in the lead hand before a jab is not much different than a gap under the pantry door: an entryway to the goodies on the other side.<br />
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Yeah, cockroaches are creepy, dirty little buggers that freak most of us out, but thinking like on when your dukes go up isn't a bad idea at all.<br />
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-66457305967363327052013-12-21T21:20:00.000-05:002013-12-22T18:31:48.128-05:00So Long and Farewell...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today, a training partner tested for Nidan while many of the instructors I've trained with over the years came to watch. It was followed by our annual Holiday Party (called such because not everyone who trains with us celebrates Christmas) and gift exchange. A bittersweet day for all of us - and not just because it was the last class of the year. It also marked the last class at our current location.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Training Partner Ed on Opening Day</td></tr>
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We started at the Salvation Army three-and-a-half years ago. Since the first six students walked in that day, we've grown to close to 50. We've trained hard in our tiny space, sweating through kihon and kata and prepping for tournaments and gradings. We've laughed as much as we've cried - over birthday cakes, farewell parties and even a few funerals.<br />
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It's been a beautiful almost-four years, it really has. But we've outgrown our space - both physically and emotionally - and will be moving to a new location in January. It's sad, but it's time to move forward.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The last Friday class at the SA :-(</td></tr>
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We've truly had some great times in the Salvation Army and seen some incredible growth from our amazing students, some of whom have trained with us since the beginning. We even started an adult class that focuses more on self-defense after a parent of one of our teens suggested it because he'd always wanted to train as a kid but his family couldn't afford it and he felt sort of odd starting next to his 12-hr-old son whom he'd have to call "sir." Unfortunately, he passed away suddenly before we could get the class up and running, but I think of him every time the adults bow in.<br />
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Karate isn't something Training Partner Ed and I do a few nights a week - it's truly a way of life. Out mission always has been to pass that ideology onto others. We understand that all of them won't be training for the rest of their lives, but the hope is that a few will. Someone has to be around for us to hand the reigns of the dojo over to!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our group after the grading. </td></tr>
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I wish we could stay - because that space has become a second home to so many - but we can't. The environment has changed as have the number of folks who are interested in what we do there each week, so we have to move along to bigger and hopefully better things. It's just time.<br />
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We'll miss you, Salvation Army. We really will.<br />
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-2650521364316904442013-11-24T18:24:00.001-05:002014-03-23T17:57:39.657-04:00Get to the Karate Already!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Since I'm still on post-nasal surgery restrictions that limit my physical activity, I've only visited my teaching dojo a few times to say hello to my students/training partners and "walk the mat" (meaning not participating, just giving instruction and correction during the class when I am in gi or sitting and observing silently when I'm in my civvies) in the last few weeks. I popped into the adult class one night last week and was a little disturbed by what I saw.<br />
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Class begins at 6:30PM. Our senpai - a barely 20-yr-old who's been a shodan for about five months or so - was leading the warmup. Spirited and agile, he was taking our 30 and 40+ "executives" through burpees and minute-long running-in-place high-knee drills. Not in gi (because I actually had to return to work), I said hello to a few folks watching and chatted with training partner Ed for a while before looking at my watch. At 7PM when I was about to head back out the door, they were still jumping around and hadn't even begun stretching yet. The class ends at 8PM.<br />
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None of the adult students are sedentary - even if they can only get to the dojo once a week. Ancillary training - from boxing to weight-lifting and running - is done by most all off them on their off-dojo days (heck, one student, a 38-hr-old green belt, does CrossFit in the morning on karate nights). In other words, there were no couch potatoes who only sweat 90 minutes a week on the mat. And although a good "Let's get those muscles nice and warm/loose before we start hitting and kicking things" warmup is a very good thing, too much of a good thing just ain't good for you, IMHO. Personally, when I only have 90 minutes to get some karate training in, I want to spend as much of that time actually doing karate as possible - and I've gotten pretty annoyed in class when instructors didn't see it the same way, which made for less than pleasurable karate experiences.<br />
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When I was a kyu, my then sensei used to lengthen the class warmup as we got closer to grading - so much so that it wasn't unusual to have a 40-minute jog/jumping jack/push-up marathon the week before testing. His theory was that the "cup-emptying" workout we were going to be put through at the grading should feel a bit familiar. I understood where he was coming from, but didn't agree - mainly because I was getting my cardio and weights in during the rest of the week and kinda figured my dojo sisters and brothers were doing something similar as well. Plus my other discipline (track and field) had engrained in me that there are strong, strong benefits to tapering your training before upcoming big, arduous contests. My sensei's plan was totally contradictory to that, it seemed.<br />
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The next sensei I trained under had spurts where he would try to work us into puddles of sweat before we actually began the karate portion of class. There were quite a few classes where we warmed up with lots and lots of burpees and squat thrusts followed by minute-long planks and "scoop" pushups that made me wonder if I'd somehow stumbled into the aerobic kick-boxing class. Again, I got what he was trying to get us to do, but I just wanted to get to the karate already.<br />
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I've also been to classes where students were expected to warmup on their own before class actually started. That meant you needed to get there early enough to do whatever it is you needed to do so you were ready for whatever kata, makawari or other drills Sensei dished out. It developed out of necessity (the sensei taught a boxing class before karate and one started and the other ended at the same time, which made it necessary to be efficient with the little time we did have to do martial stuff), but it made sense to me, as the 19-yr-old college students who trained on one side of me had different physical needs than the 40 and 50-hr-old executives who trained on the other side. Not that there weren't smattering of conditioning exercises/drills during class (like, say, 20 pushups after a kata or 20 round house kicks between bunkai drills), but the business of the day was about karate, not preparing to do karate.<br />
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When I teach, of course there is a bit of time reserved for getting the blood flowing and stretching before we start drills or whatever else is on the agenda, but it is not the entire focus of the class and it never usually takes more than 15 minutes or so. Yes, it's necessary to warmup, but I just don't get the "go hard or go home" calisthenics that seem designed to show little more than the fitness level of the person leading the class.<br />
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Get to the karate already, please...<br />
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5373833978949742595.post-34565246164407037332013-11-11T15:58:00.001-05:002013-12-21T21:33:28.700-05:00Itching to Train!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
11 days ago, I had surgery to remove some nasal polyps and to fix my crooked septum. I hemmed and hawed an awful lot before even deciding to do it - mostly because the polyps, I was told, could grow back - but the polyps were pressing against some olfactory nerves and I wasn't able to smell at all. Decided it might be prudent to at least give removing them a shot after almost burning my house down (couldn't smell something left in the oven that ignited when I turned on the oven to prep for dinner), in hopes of being able to one day smell the roses again if nothing else.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5r8nh3La2a2aQPdjNJonDVQ1eS2MEnEsulQTGsdiy9U7e48r7CVqka6WjGZWZPt_zx3VPgvNQALlFP4cgBLig67xzxpmsQdtoMNxn1EWtER_SEE8Ah2WnN10WhfJA9hsZQgQE9QATKDA/s1600/EmptyChair.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5r8nh3La2a2aQPdjNJonDVQ1eS2MEnEsulQTGsdiy9U7e48r7CVqka6WjGZWZPt_zx3VPgvNQALlFP4cgBLig67xzxpmsQdtoMNxn1EWtER_SEE8Ah2WnN10WhfJA9hsZQgQE9QATKDA/s320/EmptyChair.jpeg" width="320" /></a>What I learned from it all was this: "same-day surgery" and "simple" are not necessarily the same thing. The polyps were pretty dense and the hour-long surgery ended up taking a whole lot longer. My head was foggy for a good three days and I was a bit dizzy for three more after that. And, because the sinus cavity was not stitched or cauterized to control bleeding, restrictions - including not bending over to tie shoes, not lifting anything heavier than a few pounds and even on sneezing (open-mouth sneezes were strongly suggested) - abounded. Worst of all, I found out AFTER surgery that I could be away from the gym and dojo for up to six weeks. Six! Freaking! Weeks!<br />
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Today, I had my second follow-up and he said the sinuses look really good. Still some swelling, but better than last week. So much better that I don't have to see him for two weeks and I can return to light cardio (short elliptical, slow kata) today :-). No lifting weights, pushups or running yet, but my doc said that if the healing keeps going as it is, I'll may be allowed back on the mat after the next appointment.<br />
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My ortho said the time off will help my knee as well (slight medial meniscus tear that can't be treated surgically - did I mention that before?), so I supposed the forced respite is a good thing for all my achy body parts. Sill, time away is time away.<br />
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The last time I was required to sit on the sidelines for so long was after my BC reconstruction. Six weeks really isn't that long, but it seems like an eternity when you can only watch instructional karate videos and review kata in your head. But I survived back then and I'm pretty sure I will now.<br />
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I do miss my students, though :-( Planning on doing a "drive by" (in gi but only walking the mat) this week to let them know I'm thinking about them :-). I gotta move around at least a little least I forget the stuff I'm supposed to remember.<br />
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Plus my backside hurts from all the sitting down!<br />
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Feliciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09017194727231120284noreply@blogger.com1