Cross Training Blues: Confessions of a Work in Progress

For the past five years, I've been going to a weekend martial arts gathering in upstate New York called Super Summer Seminars. The opportunity to learn a little something about Jeet Kun Do, Judo, Kung Fu, BJJ and even traditional Okinawan kata bunkai is something I look forward to each July.

After last year's seminars, I tried to take that concept out of the workshops and apply it to my own martial life, mixing a little Aikido first and now JuJitsu into my training regiment. I have no problem strapping on a white belt at all because it's all about the learning to me. But perhaps there is a point where the "new" art(s) starts to crowd the tried and true. Hmmm...

My example: my "think on your feet" self-defense needs work. Last week, the JuJitsu class added a Thursday night adults only class where they do nothing but work through self-defense techniques strictly off a hook and/or straight punch. They work on opening moves to evade and counter before looking for openings to take the adversary out of the fight - via strikes, wrist locks/arm bars or sweeps. Good stuff I most definitely need - because we never did anything like this in my first school and we only do it a bit at my current school - but getting there means my regular school's Thursday night class gets pre-empted. It's not a problem this month (I'm taking the month of July off from my regular classes specifically to work on some things), but next month, when I return to my regular routine, it might be.

My sensei and I talked about it and although he seemed to understand my need for some time away when we first spoke, the grapevine (every school has one, I'm sure) has indicated that he's not all that thrilled that my primary learning is now coming from outside the school (I'm also taking a Jujitsu class on Mondays and I have been traveling down to NYC on alternate Wednesdays to get my booty kicked cardio-vascularly at Harlem Goju since April or so - and both are days when my school has no scheduled classes). I'm still teaching the little ones on Fridays and Saturdays (and may soon add an "adult newbie" class to the mix on Sundays), and was really only looking for a way to supplement my regular training, not replace it forever. But with the different vibe that is in the dojo as of late, I thought it best to step away for a minute - and I am glad that I did. I'm not leaving the school or even USA Goju for that matter - just taking a moment to re-group and re-charge. Obviously, he and I need to have another chat about it...

And this training is totally new and most unlike anything I've ever done before. Not innate by any means, moving around and under an adversary to secure a lock is - challenging. I still get that little pang of dread when it's my turn to give it a go, but it's dissipating a bit with each class.

Nothing different I guess. I'm still a work in progress.

In Defense of Self...

I have a confession to make: I didn't begin studying martial arts to learn how to defend myself.

I actually started when I was in graduate school, working full-time, playing taxi-driver to my then 10-year-old son and undergoing radiation to my chest wall as part of my breast cancer treatment. I'd just retired from a 23-year career in track and field to start said grad school/crazy mom path and I really missed sweating. Going from training for three to four hours a day/six days a week to doing nothing more strenuous than walking up a flight of stairs to get to class was a bit disorienting, so when my son's sensei invited me to try the class, I took him up on it.

Of course I'm glad I did, but as we didn't spend much time at all on practical self-defense applications to the techniques we were learning, I'm a little behind on thinking on my feet when a real punch (as opposed to one padded in dipped foam from a friendly uke) comes flying at me. I'm not so much "deer in the headlights" as I used to be, but many times after that block or evasion, I pause to think about what I could/should do next. Sensei S., whom I've trained with now for the past two years, calls it "karate by the numbers" and it is my biggest barrier to testing for nidan in September. Sigh.

Last week, I took my friend, Sensei A, up on his long-standing offer to drop by his dojo to check out the jujitsu class he teaches. As disappointed as he was that I didn't gi up that night (I was supposed to be only watching, after all), he kept talking to me during his instruction, inviting me to get in for a closer look at some techniques, giving me some tips on looking for openings without working too hard to avoid, block and counter. I knew I was coming back, but I don't think he believed me until I showed up in gi last night.

Jujitsu is very different from karate - as was aikido - but also similar in many respects. For example, the blocks, kicks, punches and evasive moves are almost identical, but how we got there (always stepping into the fray - as in AT the oncoming punch or kick) was a little different. We also did lots of techniques off an uke-initiated roundhouse punch to the face which was cool. And both my uke (a 15-year-old yellow belt who is also 6'2" and lanky like me) and Sensei A were tossing them right at my jaw/cheekbone, forcing me to block correctly, get out of the way, or get clocked. Let's just say that pain is a great motivator to step up the learning curve.

My wrists are a little taxed today from some of the locks, but that's a good thing. Better still, I got to work on my break-falls when it was my turn to uke as every technique ended up with the attacker on the ground. No teeth rattles or crazy landings for me - which is also a good thing :-). And I got to work on my sweeps and take-downs in real time (as opposed to the gentle guiding I sometimes do). Suffice to say a good time was had and I'll be heading back again tomorrow night, too.

Just scratching the surface here - as we haven't really even gotten into much of the good stuff that happens once you get to the ground - but I can see how this can be as much of a complement to my training as aikido was (which, sadly, I can't attend anymore due to the distance and class schedule). My sensei is fine with it and actually encourages us to branch out, broaden our horizons and see/learn all we can. "Discard the bad and keep the good" is part of our dojo kun, so it's all about the learning.

Onward...

Starting SOMEwhere

For a few years now, I've thought about becoming certified to teach women's self-defense. Actually, I've obsessed about it for the better part of the last three years and ended up taking every self-defense seminar and workshop I could just to see just what the actual teaching of one would entail. Mostly, I liked what I saw - except for one thing: the obligatory beating of a man in a padded suit that stemmed from the predication that "stranger danger" - in the form of an evil-doer jumping out from behind the bushes or sneak attacking from behind - is the biggest threat the average Jane faces. But it isn't. The reality is that the majority of women who are attacked are attacked by people that they know. Here are a few statistics pulled from the National Domestic Violence Hotline website that drives the point home better than I ever could:

*On the average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day. * One in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. * One in three teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, slapped, choked or physically hurt by a partner. *As many as 324,000 women each year experience intimate partner violence during their pregnancy. *Seventy-four percent of all murder-suicides involved an intimate partner (spouse, common-law spouse, ex-spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend). Of these, 96 percent were females killed by their intimate partners.

The martial artist-me reasonably believes that if I was assaulted, I'd be able to do whatever I needed to physically to get away. But punching a STRANGER in the nose has got to be different than punching someone that I know - and who knows me. And none of the WSD workshops I went to ever addressed that. So next weekend, I'm putting together one that does :-). A short (two-hour) workshop that mostly emphasizes awareness, avoidance and de-escalation with a little bit of very basic physical techniques, the curriculum is based on the National Women's Martial Arts Foundation's Self-Defense Empowerment Model, which is eventually where I will seek certification. Unlike RAD and Fight Like a Girl systems, dealing with acquaintance violence is a huge part of the program. I'm really excited and really nervous about it as well. I'll let you know how it turns out :-)

Out of Sorts

Ever have one of those classes? Y'know - where nothing goes quite right and you just can't flow for squat?

My last few classes have been just like that. Training sessions like those are the most draining and frustrating things on the planet to me.

Part of the problem is that I'm going through some emotional non karate-related stuff, including the pending high school graduation of my son (tomorrow) and the stress associated with getting everything together for his walk down the aisle to flip his tassel. Another part of it is that my sensei is also going through some emotional non karate-related stuff, including relationship and relocation issues. Sure, shoes, attitudes and personal "laundry" should get left at the dojo door, but suffice to say that - to me, at least - the vibe in the training hall is off a bit, which is starting to make training there something I'm not quite as excited about as I used to be. And I'm not quite sure what to do with that.

So, to get back a little of the fervor before I start to dread going completely, I've been thinking about taking a small break. I'll still be training - both on my own and at perhaps a little in Jujitsu (got an invite several months ago from a local sensei who has visited our class on several occasions) - just not at my school. Who knows - maybe a month or so of training in a different environment will be good for me. Time will tell.

This will really be my first non-injury karate pause since I started almost six-and-a-half years ago. The only other time I stayed away from the dojo for longer than a class or two was for a six-week recoup from reconstruction surgery, and I swear, I thought I was going to tear my hair out without karate - but I survived by watching kata videos and visiting the dojo a few times. This will be a little different, but just as necessary, I think.

Ever taken a break from training? How did you spend your time away from the mat? How easy or difficult was it to return?

How Much is TOO Much?

Is it ever too early to introduce a brand-new martial artist to hard physical contact? I'm not talking about a punch to the arm or a light kick to the gut, but powerful techniques from folks who've not only been training longer and are more experienced but who are bigger, faster and stronger? There's a bit of a debate going on over at the Women's Forum of Martial Talk.com about a young woman who has only been training for four months feeling intimidated by how advanced the guys in her training hall are - and how hard they hit. Now, I'm most definitely of the "It's karate, not knitting so expect there to be contact" school of thought, but I still can't get behind the "tough it out, it makes you a better martial artist!" refrains in some of the replies. But really, something about the idea that she's asking for advice on how to get over feeling intimidated by her training partners seems strange to me. Her original question:

I'm a small 24 y.o. woman, not very strong. I feel it's important to learn to defend myself so I started martial arts. I've been going for four months now but I still feel really intimidated in the class full of men. Some of them are nice but some are quite advanced and are in my opinion quite hostile - and they hit hard. I like my teacher but I am a slow learner it seems, and this may be annoying for the advanced students. Any advice from instructors/other women about feeling intimidated?

If you read through the thread, you'll see that most of the advice she's gotten to date has centered around her speaking up to her training partners and asking them to temper their hits/kicks/blocks and even speaking to her instructor if the "I'm gonna blast you across the room" techniques don't cease - and I agree - but really, should she HAVE to tell more advanced students not to kick her in the face? Shouldn't the idea that folks who have just started on the path not being quite ready for full-power techniques be a given? I remember being punched in the face THREE TIMES by a fourth dan during a basic jab drill when I was only a seventh kyu. I'd been training for less than a year and had no idea what to do. I know NOW that he should have had the most control/been the safest person in the room, but as a newbie, I wasn't quite sure if getting hit in the nose that much was drill protocol - I just know it made me feel really uncomfortable, whether it was the norm or not. But who knows what "normal" is when they decide to step on the mat for the first time? After they've been training for a few months? Whether there to learn self-defense, to sweat a bit or simply for the challenge of learning something new, the environment that is martial arts training is a pretty unique one. The rules of what is appropriate and what isn't aren't posted on the wall but rather learned as we go - and usually, they are learned by watching and working with more advanced training partners. It should come down to the student deciding what is appropriate contact-wise for her/him - regardless of her/his level/rank, but is that what really happens? Like I said in my reply, I think everyone should totally be able to say if/when the contact is too much. I don't think it is ever OK for others - be they fellow students or instructors - to determine what is and isn't "too hard or too much" for anyone else. Insisting that they "tough out" whatever is dished out in order to learn is the fastest way to chase a person right out of the training hall, IMHO. The reality is that most women have probably never been hit until they kick off their shoes and step onto the mat - and if they have, it probably wasn't by a guy who out-weighs her by 50 lbs or so in an environment that is supposed to be about learning and fun to some extent. I don't really see how facing dudes with absolutely no control or a dimmer switch teaches anyone how to be a better martial artist - just how to "take" a punch. But what does that have to do with becoming a good martial artist? To me, that demonstrates only how easily we bruise and bleed in a "oh look! I almost ruptured my spleen today!" sort of way. That is not quite all the karate I study is about. There are reasons we wear pads while training - primarily so we don't hurt the person on the receiving end of a kick/punch/block too much. Sure, punch like you mean it, but to me, there is a big difference between a solid technique with intent and one that is meant to blast the uke out of the ring just for ha-ha's. Let the contact be appropriate for the learner's level, that's all I'm sayin'... OK - rant over. Thanks for indulging me :-)

For the Girls

Consolidating some files on my 'puter, I found a few photos from gradings and tournaments past. I've been blessed enough to have had the genuine fortune to train along side some truly amazing karateka. For me, the photos are inspirational (hope they are for you as well). Way to fight like girls, ladies :-)

"Why Do You Train?" - Take 43

I really love my school - and not just for the physical aspects of karate we learn how to do. Last night's class, for example, was all about the mental.

Sensei Joe - part amazing karateka/instructor, part web-master - brought in his video camera to film us doing self-defense techniques to post on the school's site. There were only four students in attendance, so we all got a chance to demonstrate for the camera some actual "what would I do to neutralize this bad guy?" scenarios. He had asked that our techniques not only stop the attack/attacker, but make sure his/her will and/or ability to fight was obviously stopped, too.

The first technique I demonstrated was a solid front snap kick to the gut of an attacker as he moved forward to punch. My uke - my son, "Squirrel", who is about 5'8" and 120lbs soaking wet - promptly went flying across the room from the kick. But this "Neo" (my nick-name) had a question, of course: would it really be necessary to re-acquire my adversary since I created enough distance to get away? Seriously - I wouldn't WANT to get close enough to him again to be able to throw a kick or punch since I was now far away from the threat. My instinct would have been to turn and run, but all the men in the room - Sensei Joe, Sensei S., training partner Ed and even my 17-year-old son - said that since what I'd done to stop the confrontation would only stop the attacker for a moment (in fact, my kick might only do little more than piss the dude off), he might try to re-engage. Maybe he'd catch me, maybe he wouldn't - but was that really something I wanted to chance?

That simple question lead to a 45-minute discussion about what it might actually take to get away from a crazed (or high, or drunk or extremely determined) evil-doer - and how to stop him/her if you couldn't.

My reality is that, other than scrapping it out in the dojo with my training partners, my fighting experience is pretty limited. I didn't wrestle with my brothers as a kid (I'm an only child), only jostled once on the playground in grade school (in second grade,a classmate pulled my hair, I pulled hers back and it was over) and haven't ever engaged in a bar fight or other "I'm gonna hurt you!" situation. Looking around the room, it hit me that my senseis, Ed and even my son couldn't say the same. Their practical experience with this "stick and move" stuff was much more extensive than mine and training partner K's (a first-kyu in her late 30's who has some difficulty with self-defense "just do something effective" scenarios as she came through the ranks in a school that never did any of that stuff, if you can believe that). Of course it didn't help that I had a mini flash-back to most recent real-life scenario - my time with "Angry Dad" - right in the middle of the discussion that made me an emotional mess and unable to do any more "let me choke you so you can figure out how to get out of it" scenarios for the remainder of class.

Once I made it to my gear bag and found a tissue, Sensei S. again asked us all the infamous "Why do you train?" rhetorical question before we bowed out - and for the first time ever, no answer resonated through my head. I thought I trained because I absolutely love the challenge of it all and so that seeing a punch come flying towards me won't be so foreign if it ever happens outside of the training hall, but now I'm not so sure. If self-defense really means "finish him/her before s/he finishes you" would I be able to do that? Would I even want to? Hmmm...

The art of self-defense is a multi-headed, living, breathing entity, it seems. Back to "the shed" I go...