The Adventures of Bug Girl

Yesterday I was sitting at my desk, minding my business and doing the work that I am paid to do. When I picked up my calendar to shift it to another corner of the desk, a centipede-type of bug crawled from underneath it and headed straight for me. I screamed like I was being attacked, leaped over my desk and sprinted out of the office. Everyone on the floor poked their heads out of their offices to see what the commotion was about. The few who know I teach karate in town, chuckled at the irony of a black belt being freaked out by a bug. But it had a lot of legs and looked really, really evil. Seriously. For the record, I am a "green" tree-hugger. I recycle like a woman possessed, drive a hybrid, try my best to conserve paper and don't kill bugs at all - even if they have found their way into my living space (a stink bug fell from the ceiling last week; I scooped it up in a bathroom cup and freed it via the window). Spiders, surprisingly, don't bother me at all. The only things that do give me pause are large groups of bugs (a colony of ants for example) or bugs with lots of limbs (I just got a chill from typing that last part!). I do know exactly where my phobia comes from, though. When I was about 14 or so, my mom asked me to shift an outdoor rug that was on our patio. I walked outside in sandals and lifted up a brick that was holding one of the corners in place. A gang of pincher bugs fell from the bottom of the brick onto my feet. None actually pinched, but I screamed, kicked off my shoes, hurdled the railing and proceeded to scratch my legs and feet for the better part of two hours (even after a long shower). It totally weirded me out (and I just scratched my leg after typing about it). Even after all these years, I still remember what it felt like to have those bugs fall on my feet. Ick. All day yesterday, my co-workers commented (and chuckled) about my bug adventure. My officemate killed the offending creature (which kind of made me sad) - but he couldn't get over my freak-out session. He promptly branded me "Bug Girl" and said that he might have to re-think his decision to have me as one of the folks he'd walk through the rough section of town with. A former martial artist himself (he studied TKD as a kid), he seemed to be under the impression that once you become a black belt in a martial art, you fear nothing at all - be it mugger in the bushes, knife-wielding bad guy or an army of bugs. Well, I'm here to testify that nothing can be further from the truth. I may be a karateka, but there are still things that scare me - even though I train on a regular basis to "handle" those things. I might have to face that mugger, bad guy or army of beetles, but that doesn't mean I don't have some fear about having to face them. According to writer/humanitarian James Baldwin, being courageous enough to face fear doesn't mean that you aren't experiencing any. He actually describes courage as a mere weapon with which to keep that fear in check. The two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. OK - so maybe running screaming from the room wasn't the best way to handle my fear. But truthfully, I'm really happy that I didn't toss everything off my desk trying to shoo the bug away or that I didn't just sit there and stare, frozen by fear. I had a plan - and that plan was all about avoiding that bug at all costs. Doing something is better than doing nothing, I suppose. Maybe next time I'll just walk briskly out of the room, though (considering that there might even BE a next time made me itch a little...).

36 Days and Counting

Yep - THE tournament - the Diamond Valley Classic - is only five short weeks away. Seems like an eternity from now, but at the same time, It seems like it is just around the corner, too.

I've been flowing my kata daily and working on my point sparring, but I'm getting nervous - like knees shaky and stomach in knots nervous - every time I think about it. I know everything will be fine once we get up there and get going, but still...

Our students are working hard, too. Prepping for kata presentation - y'know, the name/style/senei/form "speech" - always trips them up a little, especially the shy ones. Only a few are nervous about kumite, though. Not sure if that is good or bad!

The bottom line is this: for each of us - from training partner Ed and me, down through the few who are competing for the first time ever - it will be what it will be. I think you learn a little about yourself each and every time you compete. It takes lots of guts to even step into the ring in the first place - even if it isn't "real" (can't tell you how many times I've heard THAT particular argument).

Our students only compete three times a year max. We go to this particular tournament because it is just the right size (not too small, not too big), fairly well judged, not too far away or expensive and it allows our young karateka to step out of their Goju worlds and see other martial artists present different styles of kata and kumite. But the truth of it is that I'd rather the first punch they see coming at them from an unknown assailant (without first announcing what side it will be coming from and what type of attack they'll need to defend against) be in the nice, controlled setting of a ring with five judges - and while they are decked out in dipped foam gear from head to toe. If they freeze or make a mistake there, the consequences won't be that severe. Can't say the same for an attack on the street. No freezing allowed...

Plus, they genuinely enjoy themselves. Many of them don't get a chance to get out of town much - even to a little town in upstate, NY. We pack the Salvation Army's 12-passenger van and lead a caravan of karate vehicles full of karate enthusiasts, parents and friends up to watch, compete and enjoy the day. "The world is much larger than your view of it" is what they hear us say at the end of most of our classes, but they get to really experience it that first Saturday in November, which is kind of nice. The community cooler will be full of water, sports drinks and healthy snacks and the parents help make sure all the kids get to their rings (and to the bathrooms, LOL) throughout day, so the understanding of our little group as a ryu - a family - comes through without us having to say a word.

We also tell them that the trophies are not what the day's competition is all about, but keeping their chi high and doing their best are. They get it, compete well (especially when they don't even place) and have loads of fun in the process.

Herkimer here we come :-)

The "P" Word

Ummm...that'd be "promotions" folks. Yep - grading was discussed vaguely in class this week. I was simply told to "prepare to look ahead towards the next level."

What that means is this: be ready for anything. Training partner Ed's nidan grading was mentioned then happened without him being told "tomorrow is the day." So sharpening, tightening and refining wasn't really an "OK - I've got to do THIS to prepare" sort of thing as it was for our shodan grading (we knew about that one for a year) - it just happened.

But truthfully, I don't believe there ever really is a date when the info you've learned and the skills you've acquired are "done" like cookies in the oven. A little less time won't make them a totally incohesive mess; neither will a little more time burn them to a crisp.

I had always envisioned my heart thudding like a drum and an overwhelming OMG! pause when I got the word, but none of that happened. I just sort of filed it away to think about later - after the Diamond Valley Classic tournament upstate in early November (six short weeks away!). What actually went through my mind was "That's cool - but I wonder if we're going to have time to spar tonight?" Grand championship on the brain, I guess :-).

So, no date or anything has been announced, just a slight mention that nidan maybe somewhere on the horizon. It was mentioned, we trained and now I can just continue to do the same and not have to really think about it. It is what it is.

In my head, I hear my senseis channeling a wine commercial from back in the day: "We will grade no karateka before it's time."

Or was that its (possessive) time? Ha - time will most certainly tell, that's for sure.

Food for Thought

Maybe it was reading Samurai Girl Sahara's recent post or the book I'm reviewing about fighting, but violence has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I'm in somebody's dojo or gym six days a week and still I feel somewhat unprepared emotionally for a real, live violent confrontation. My belief is that I'll be able to flip that switch I have to, but can you ever truly prepare for that?

This morning, I found this quote on a new FaceBook page I "liked" yesterday:

“Let the first act of every morning be to make the following resolve for the day: I shall not fear anyone on Earth. I shall fear only God. I shall not bear ill will toward anyone. I shall not submit to injustice from anyone. I shall conquer untruth by truth. And in resisting untruth, I shall put up with all suffering.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

I know Gandhi was not about fisticuffs at all so violence is not even mentioned, but I think it fits somehow. It certainly set my train of thought in a new direction, that's for sure.

Triangles, Circles & Crane Stances - Oh My!

My karate sensei talks loads about triangles - specifically about how strong they are. There are so many kata where our hands end up in some kind of modified triangle or other. Whenever he points out another triangle in a kata, ippon kumite or self-defense technique, I always think of the Great Pyramids of Egypt: still standing after centuries.

Circles are referenced a great deal as well in Goju, Aikido and Jujitsu. So many times, the technique isn't complete until your hands, arms, legs and/or feet end up exactly where they started - including blocks/strikes like mawashi uchi (two-hand circular block) and hiraken uchi (rolling back fist), simple movements like the crescent steps (half-circle stance movements) and kicks like ushiro geri (traditional back kick). Both Jujitsu and Aikido often use energy generated by the adversary against him/her by first moving him/her in a circle then abruptly making the person go the other way via a joint lock or strike. Cool stuff :-)

So imagine my surprise when yesterday in Jujitsu, I discovered that one body part might be completing a circle while another is moving in a totally different - and straight - direction. We were working on a self-defense technique that involved first linearly evading a straight punch then trapping the punch hand and guiding the adversary down until his/her face is at knee level by controlling the elbow you just acquired. The two other students I was working with were my height or taller and when Sensei A. - my 6'2" Jujitsu instructor - saw that we were all having some difficulties getting our tall selves out of the way of the attack, he had us drill the movements in what he calls "kata form" - which means slowly, deliberately and very much like the kata flow drill I learned about a year ago. He had us line up and stand with our hands up, feet together and knees bent before instructing us to step back then turn 90 degrees to the right to emulate the movement in the technique. The turn placed us into a perfect Sagi Ashi-Dachi (crane stance) - before we stepped forward with the rear leg, did a 180 degree turn and ended up in another Sagi Ashi-Dachi. "Now pair up and do the technique again," Sensei A. said - and yep, we all nailed it. Seeing the crane stance turn on itself - in a complete circle - was truly an ah-ha! moment for all of us. I felt like doing the happy dance right in the middle of the dojo!

And to think, I actually hated geometry in high school...

Limitations...

"Nothing limits achievement like small thinking; nothing expands possibilities like unleashed imagination." 
- William Arthur Ward

Marking the Calendar

Got an email today I've been waiting a whole year for: one about an upcoming tournament. It is one of three tournaments I try to compete in each year and it kicks off the competitive season for me. I've circled the date on my calendar, even --->. Each year at this tournament, I get a little bit closer to the grand championship in sparring. Two years ago, I won my division but the "Executive Women" (that's the over-40 set, LOL) were not included in the grand championship round robin. Last year we were, but I kind of lost my head in the grand championship round when my opponent - the 18-year-old winner of the black belt women's under-35 division - dropped like a rock when I hit her in the gut. I'm talking fight stopped, me forced to kneel while the medics attended to her, the whole nine. That had never happened to me before - and my fight was pretty much done as a result because once the action resumed I was flat-footed and reactionary instead of staying aggressive and on my toes - my head completely out of it because I'd actually hurt someone young enough to be my daughter. Can't tell you how ticked I was that I allowed the situation to take me off my game. Lesson learned - because that certainly won't happen again... I've heard it said many times that in order to do a thing, you have to first admit that you want to do it then set a goal in order to make it happen. I think a scene from one of my favorite "feel good" flicks - "Akeelah and the Bee" - best illustrates that. When she begins her training, her coach makes Akeelah admit something she'd probably never said aloud before: that she wants to win the Scripps National Spelling Bee. She whispers a simple "I want to win," at first, but he makes her repeat it over and over again until she is able to scream it at the top of her lungs - and mean it. So here goes: I want to be the Women's Kumite Grand Champion at the Diamond Valley Classic this November. There - I said it. OK - I'm still whispering right now, but each day I train, I not only get another day closer to the one circled on my calendar, but my whisper gets a little louder, too. It'll be a scream at the top of my lungs real soon :-)